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Jon Voight has signed up to be the Big Bad man on 24 for Day 7, says The Hollywood Reporter.

He’ll be introduced in the prequel this fall.

On the Emmy-winning Fox drama, Voight will play Jack Bauer’s (Kiefer Sutherland) uber-nemesis who is pulling the strings behind next season’s terrorist threat.

The character will be introduced during “24’s” two-hour Season 7 prequel and will be featured heavily in the latter half of the season.

Hmmm. Could Angelina be far behind? Check out more deets on Remote Access.

Photo via The Hollywood Reporter

A reporter in Fayetteville came up with a pretty funny hour of 24, either proving or disproving the need for a professional staff of scribes.

Here ’tis.

Blogs4Bauer has ranked the hottest women of 24, now we’re looking at the people (and/or animals) we love to see Jack Bauer hate on. We rank em, Jack breaks ‘em and now we continue our listing of the Top 10 – 24 Villains of all time.

Name: Phillip Bauer
Season: Six
Occupation: Former CEO, BXJ Technologies
First seen:Day 6 11:00am-12:00pm
Last Seen: Day 6 5:00am-6:00am
Status: Deceased?

Name: Graem “Bluetooth” Bauer
Seasons: Five, Six
Occupation: CEO, BXJ Technologies
First seen: Day 5 1:00am-2:00am
Last Seen: Day 6 12:00pm-1:00pm
Status: Deceased

Tell me your jaw didn’t drop when you realized Bluetooth was none other than Graem Bauer, Jack’s brother. OK, you’re lying. Your jaw did too drop.

First off, how could someone so soft and bald be of the same genetic material as Jack? Second, Bluetooth was a big bad, behind President Logan’s betrayal of the American people. How could Jack, whose first priority always is doing what’s best for his country, whether it’s even remotely what’s best for him or his loved ones.

Of course, a family like Jack’s could be exactly why he does what he does.

It is believed that Graem was involved in Walt Cummings having put a hit out on Jack, and that wouldn’t be too shocking. Day 5, the events of which he was at least in part behind, involved sending Sentox VX nerve gas to Russian separtists, who planned to smuggle it to Russia. But it was to be booby trapped, blowing up on the separatists, but showing there were WMDs in central Asia, making a better case for American intervention in the region.

And Graem ordered Logan to shoot down Flight 520 after he learned Jack was on board. He also ordered Logan to “take care of” his wife, Martha, and Agent Aaron Pierce. He also strongly suggested to Logan that he commit suicide when it appeared the plot would be revealed. In the end, he let the Chinese know Jack was still alive so they could kidnap and torture him.

Graem never was revealed to be behind the Day 5 shenanigans, clearing the way for Dmitri Gredenko to supply suitcase nukes to BXJ Technologies (the Bauer family company) and setting up Day 6.

Jack discovers in Day 6 that the suitcase nuke that went off in Valencia may have been at least tangentially connected to his father. He heads to Graem’s house to investigate. Graem, meanwhile, finds out Jack’s back in LA and opines that they should’ve just killed Jack when they had the chance.

This is when Jack tries to strangle him with an electrical cord. Graem’s also not as torture-proof as Jack and lets it spill that BXJ had hired the guy (Darren McCarthy) who ended up stealing the nukes from BXJ and sold them to the terrorists. Daddy Bauer is over at McCarthy’s office to erase any connection between them.

Graem and Phillip set up a fake Graem takeover of BXJ, with Graem ordering the guards to take Jack and Phillip into custody; CTU storms Graem’s house and arrests him while Jack and Phillip escape their guards and kill them. Rick Burke sets up an “interrogation” of Graem. Weasel boy ends up confessing to being involved in the murders of David Palmer, Michelle Dessler and Tony Almeida (not!).

Just before they’re about to take Graem to CTU, Phillip gets a moment alone with him. He congratulates Graem for keeping quiet about his involvement, then kills him. Thanks, Dad!

Over at CTU, Phillip does all sorts of nefarious things, such as ordering Gredenko killed. When he realizes his daughter-in-law Marilyn is going to try to help Jack find Gredenko, he asks to take Josh home with him, then calls Marilyn and tells her he killed Graem and will kill Josh, too, if she doesn’t lie to Jack.

The house Jack’s led to is booby-trapped and his entire TAC team is killed except him; Milo manages to spirit Marilyn away.

Phillip threatens Josh when Josh figures out grampa’s not such a nice guy.

No one’s life is worth the destruction of everything I’ve built.

Jack offers his life in exchange for Josh’s and Papa Bauer takes the deal. Papa prepares to kill Jack, then they have a heart to heart, kind of, and Phillip leaves while Jack apologizes for being a disappointment to him. He leaves behind a PDA with a phone number on it. Jack calls it. Charles Logan answers and says he can lead Jack to Gredenko.

Phillip finds a way to get Chinese mercernaries into CTU so they can re-kidnap Josh (gramps really does love him) in exchange for a repaired FB sub-circuit board from one of the nukes.

Jack, Nadia and Morris (Morris?!) manage to overpower the Chinese, though they’d already spirited Josh outta there.

Phillip tells Josh he wants to take him away from “this ungrateful country” and go to China. (Yeah, because that nation is so grateful to its citizens.)

A couple hours and one blown up oil platform later, Doyle’s been blinded, Josh has been rescued and Bill Buchanan has a Bill Sack to complement Jack’s Jack Sack.

Is Josh Jack’s son? Is Josh Phillip’s son? Is Josh Graem’s son? Who the hell knows? By the end of Season 6 we didn’t even care anymore, though the producers have admitted that they had planned to reveal Phillip as his dad, but then thought that a bit too icky. (They were right, but wrong at the same time.)

Producers claim that Phillip died in the oil rig explosion, but there was a boat nearby and if Tony can come back from being pretty much certainly dead (we saw Jack crying while holding Tony’s dead body!!), then Phillip can certainly be alive considering we didn’t even see him die.

Phillip’s Final Rankings (out of 10)
Meanness: 10
Coolness: 7
Reign of Terror: 8
Sexiness: 1
Total Points: 26
Graem’s Final Rankings (out of 10)
Meanness: 10
Coolness: 3
Reign of Terror: 6
Sexiness: 1
Total Points: 20

Blogs4Bauer has ranked the hottest women of 24, now we’re looking at the people (and/or animals) we love to see Jack Bauer hate on. We rank em, Jack breaks ‘em and now we continue our listing of the Top 10 – 24 Villains of all time.

Name: Ramon Salazar
Season: Three
Occupation: Drug Kingpin
First seen: 1:00pm – Day 3
Last Seen: 1:00am – Day 3
Status: Dead

Despite what you may think, Ramon Salazar isn’t a side dish at trendy Spanish restaurants. Ramon Salazar isn’t the Hispanic guy on Desperate Housewives. Ramon Salazar isn’t the guy we removed from power in Panama many years ago. Finally, Ramon Salazar is was not Phil Hartman.

No, Ramon Salazar was your standard run-of-the mill drug kingpin who ended up playing Russian Roulette with Jack Bauer after the CTU agent breaks INTO a prison, a riot breaks out, and the two are forced to play Russian Roulette after Bauer breaks into a prison (oops, I was stuck in a 24 plot loop).

Ramon was in jail when Season 3 starts. Hell shouldn’t I be writing this profile about his brother, Hector Salazar? I would be writing this about Hector, if it wasn’t for Ramon shooting his own brother…and the aforementioned Russian Roulette game which prompted Fox to have Jack Bauer film a PSA on gun safety. Hint: Kids, it’s dangerous to load a gun and point it at your forehead while pulling the trigger, unless your name is Jack Bauer.

So why are we here? Oh, yeah, Ramon and his brother were going to release the infamous Cordilla virus. No, the Cordilla isn’t a soft taco wrapped with a hard outer shell with 2 meats and a cheesy core at Taco Bell for $1.99. The virus was made in The Ukraine and imported to LA. It causes nose-bleeds, bad breath, hemorrhaging, skin abscesses and eventually death. Michelle Dessler was infected, but having slept with Tony Almeida, she was immune to the ill effects of the virus.

So Jack’s undercover, in Mexico, surrounded by drug dealers. So basically…a typical Wednesday night for Kiefer Sutherland. Jack was tested by the Salazars who asked Bauer to shoot his partner, Chase Edmunds. Jack pulls the trigger – click – the gun was empty (we all know that he has no problems with thinning CTU’s payroll on his own). Hector was convinced, so Ramon shot and killed him.

The virus was put up for sale on Ebay and Nina Myers won with a last minute bid to beat out Ramon (also known as kidFunKY223). And here’s where it get’s weird.

Nina gets kidnapped and is forced to turn over a vial containing the virus. Ramon then pulls a gun on Jack and Chase Edmunds shoots Ramon with a sniper rifle. Then Delta company swoops in (late), Jack kills a few dudes with a knife, something explodes, and Ramon escapes. Later (aka 1 commercial break) Jack corners Ramon and tells him “it’s over”. Wait, he actually said “IT’S OVER”. Ramon threatens to unleash the virus; instead the vial explodes – killing Ramon. He fell for the exploding Cordilla virus trick! Jack Bauer will later use this same trick with an exploding memory stick.

Ramon Salazar: (after sparing Jack’s life) The man has more lives than a cat.

In our Villain matrix, Ramon scores pretty high on Meanness for killing his brother. He also scores well for Coolness because of his cool name. However, he didn’t last long so his Reign of Terror is low.

Final Rankings (out of 10)
Meanness: 8
Coolness: 6
Reign of Terror: 2
Sexiness: 5
Total Points: 21

Blogs4Bauer has ranked the hottest women of 24, now we’re looking at the people (and/or animals) we love to see Jack Bauer hate on. We rank ‘em, Jack breaks ‘em and now we continue our listing of the Top 10 – 24 Villains of all time.

Name: Dina and Behrooz Araz
Season: Four
Occupation: Housewife, high-school student; terrorists
First seen: 7:00am-8:00am
Last Seen: 9:00pm-10:00pm (Dina was last seen 8:00pm-9:00pm)
Status: Dina, deceased; Behrooz, unknown

Yes, there was a third member of the Araz family, the patriarch, Navi. But let’s get serious. Who remembered his name before I just typed it a second ago?

The Araz family emigrated to the United States five years prior to the start of Season 4, but we don’t know from where. A member of their cell is supposedly from Akara and the actor who played Habib Marwan said the show’s writers told him his character was Turkish.

Navi uses Behrooz to transport a suitcase from a train bombing to Marwan’s minions. After Behrooz drops the case off, his perky girlfriend Debbie shows up and they have a heart to heart in the middle of nowhere, with him explaining that his parents don’t want him to see her anymore. She’s really bummed out. Bad guys see them talking and tattle on him to Navi.

Navi wants Debbie killed. Dina invites the lass over, gives her poisoned tea, then tells her son to kill Debbie. He freaks, tries to help Debbie escape, she collapses and Mommy shoots Debbie to make it look as if her son had done it. Daddy comes home, is pleased to see his son did the right thing and they wrap up the body.

Behrooz heads out with Tariq to bury Debbie. I’d forgotten that Behrooz turned badass for a moment, beating Tariq to death with a shovel after getting him to admit that it was Daddy who ordered Tariq to kill him.

This is what turns the tide for Dina and prevents her from being a 9 out of 10 on the meanness scale. Killing her son is a deal-breaker. She takes Behrooz and goes on the run from her husband, even getting shot in the arm.

When his father tries to kill him again later, Behrooz manages to get the gun away and kills his father instead. Hmm. Maybe he’s a little more badass than I’d given him credit for. Naaah. Just lucky.

Dina turns herself and Behrooz over to CTU to gain their protection. Jack has her take him as a “hostage” to Marwan’s compound.

Aha, but Marwan’s no dummy. He orders her to shoot Jack. She knows that if she does that, Behrooz becomes the new little friend of some really big, mean convict in a federal pen, so she turns the gun on Marwan.

Click.

Gun’s not loaded.

Dina fails the test.

Marwan has her killed.

Dina’s best quote:

I am so disappointed in you.
(after Behrooz fails to shoot Debbie, who’s dead anyway from Dina’s poisoned tea)

Jack ends up turning Behrooz over to Marwan’s men with “trackers” on him, but they quickly locate and destroy the devices. What happens to Behrooz? We never — ever — find out.

But the story supposedly was that Marwan was going to ship him off for “re-education.” Two deleted scenes on the Season 4 DVDs offer two options for Behrooz being saved:
• Curtis narrowly saves him from execution
• Behrooz is brought back to CTU, where Edgar comments that he was found at the port “in a shipping container registered to Marwan.”

Extra: In The House of Sand and Fog, Ben Kingsley’s character kills Shohreh Aghdashloo’s character by poisoning her tea so he doesn’t have to tell her their son, played by Jonathan Ahdout, is dead. (Aghdashloo and Ahdout play Dina and Behrooz Araz.) How’s that for irony?

Any character who has since disappeared without any seeming resolution to what happened to him is said to have been “Behroozed.”

Final Rankings (out of 10)
Meanness: Dina 7, Behrooz 0.5
Coolness: Dina 9, Behrooz -5
Reign of Terror: Dina 6, Behrooz -5 (this would have been -10 if he hadn’t killed two people)
Sexiness: Dina 7, Behrooz 0.5
Total Points: Dina 29, Behrooz -9 — for a combined score of 20.

Blogs4Bauer has ranked the hottest women of 24, now we’re looking at the people (and/or animals) we love to see Jack Bauer hate on. We rank em, Jack breaks ‘em and now we continue our listing of the Top 10 – 24 Villains of all time.

Name: The Cougar
Season: Two
Occupation: Puma Concolor
First seen: 6:00pm – Day 2
Last Seen: 7:00pm – Day 2
Status: At Large

The Cougar was the first clue to 24 fans that writers of the show often move plots along as if based on a series of dares.

Some people say that the infamous cougar/Kim scene was the low point of the show. They are, of course, idiots because the show keeps hitting a non-stop stream of low points that will probably conclude with 24: The Movie.

Personally I find the scene in Season 6, where Jack helped rescue a helicopter pilot on a roof in suburban LA using a rusty TV antenna, as my personal 24 low point. Others might point to the shooting of Curtis, Jack torturing his brother, or the very special addition of Ricky Schroder as low points. Others may even cite Jack Bauer’s second death as the low point. Post your personal 24 low point in the comments section.

Where was I? Oh, Kim Bauer was escaping from one of her many “situations”. She runs into the woods and gets her hot, sexy leg stuck in an animal trap. Here’s where I’ll insert a picture of Kim Bauer to keep you reading the post.

Cougar: Grrrrrrrr!

With Kim’s foot in a random animal trap, our evil villain makes his appearance.

However the cougar does not eat Kim Bauer, probably because he was afraid that her stupidity was contagious. Instead, Bunny from Platoon comes walking through the trees to save Kim from having to gnaw through the trapped leg with her teeth. Had this happened in Season 6, I’d expect a talking woodchuck named Bruce would have saved her. Maybe even a dolphin with a spear strapped to its forehead who just escaped from Brett Favre’s infamous dolphin-fighting ring.

A talking cougar fighting midget ninjas would be pretty cool though.

Final Rankings (out of 10)
Meanness: 6
Coolness: 3
Reign of Terror: 1
Sexiness: 1
Total Points: 11

Blogs4Bauer has ranked the hottest women of 24, now we’re looking at the people we love to see Jack Bauer hate on. We rank em, Jack breaks ‘em and now we continue our listing of the Top 10 – 24 Villains of all time.

This next villain had sex with Audrey Raines and then hung himself.

Name: Walt Cummings
Season: Four and Five
Occupation: Charles Logan’s Karl Rove
First seen: 11:00pm – Day 4
Last Seen: 2:00pm – Day 5
Status: Dead

You know why Audrey liked Walt? He was “well hung“. Get it?

Thank you, I’ll be here all week. Walt however, entered the fray as Vice President Logan’s Head of Security during Season 4. Somehow that later qualified him to become the Chief of Staff in Season 5. Before you question that line of succession, remember we are talking about the show 24.

Anyway, when Walt first appears, he’s trying to curb the constant use of torture that was almost as common in Season 4 as the word “dammit“. Jack Bauer was just trying to abuse the rights of a terrorist and save the world. Walt was worried that allowing this to happen would tarnish the Logan presidency. This, if you watched Season 5, is a really funny joke.

So he has already tried to stop Jack Bauer from torturing a bad guy. Next, he conspired with the secret service to KILL Jack Bauer after Jack Bauer’s raid on the Chinese consulate. Jack Bauer ends up in a shootout and dies, but he was only faking it.

With Jack out of the way, Walt had sex with Audrey. When he asked her “why the long face“, she left him and went to China to look for Jack.

With the opening of the 5th worst day in Jack Bauer’s life, Walt is still working for Logan, but also with a Russian separatist group because the terrorist-as-a-Muslim plot was played out and the writers of 24 needed some other ethnic group with fewer activists.

We learn that Walt had a hand in the deaths of All State spokesman David Palmer and Michelle Dessler. Knowing that Jack would not like the loss of ad revenue from the missing insurance spots, Walt also tried to have him killed (again), this time by the “let’s put a mole in CTU” scheme. It fails and allows Jack puts another notch in his belt. Spense Wolff also put another notch in his belt but for other geekier reasons.

Walt Cummings: No, Mr. President, I am a patriot!

With Jack on his tail, Walt pulls out the infamous WMDs in Central Asia/War for oil speech and the three non-Republican viewers of 24 cheer him on. Logan has Bauer arrested, but he gets out and then pulls a classic Bauer move. Jack pulls a knife and threatens to pop out one of Walt’s eyes. Walt asks him to pop out both so he can rid himself of the image of having sex with Audrey.

Jack Bauer: I’m done talking with you, you understand me? You’ve read my file. The first thing I’m going to do is take out your right eye, and then I’m gonna move over and take out your left, and then I’m going to cut you. I’m gonna keep cutting you until you give me the information that I need. Do you understand me? So for the last time, where is the nerve gas?

Walt is later found hanging in his holding cell. Supposedly Logan had him killed.

Final Rankings (out of 10)
Meanness: 1
Coolness: 2
Reign of Terror: 3
Sexiness: 8
Total Points: 14

Blogs4Bauer has ranked the hottest women of 24, (you’ve gotta admit, there’s no reason whatsoever to rank the hottest men of 24, unless you conceded right off the bat that Jack’s No. 1 and everyone else is just sloppy seconds).

Anyway, now we’re looking at the people we love to hate. From we break down the top villains of our favorite show and reveal the Top 10 – 24 Villains of all time.

Today, we look at the hottest male villain. It was a tough call and Vladimir Bierko almost made it (sorry, Julian Sands), but I had to go in another direction.

Name: Syed Ali
Season: Two
Occupation: Leader of Second Wave, an Islamic fundamentalist terrorist group.
First seen: 4:00pm-5:00pm
Last Seen: 11:00pm-12:00am
Status: Dead

Syed Ali recruited the woman who was perhaps the hottest female 24 villain (other than Mandy, OK Wyatt?), Marie Warner.

The best thing about Marie, however, was that her involvement brought us the best Bauer Girl yet, her sister, Kate Warner.

But this is about Ali. Sorry, got sidetracked.

Ali was the mastermind of the Season 2 plot to nuke L.A. (the bad guys didn’t get this accomplished until Season 6, remember).

Using intel from Nina Myers, Ali attacks CTU with C4 explosives to keep them busy and unable to investigate his bomb plot. Shockingly, this does not stop Jack.

Anyhow, Ali had planned to fly the Cessna loaded with the nuke all by his lonesome, the ultimate suicide bombing. But before he heads out to the airfield, he stops at a mosque to pray. Bad choice. That’s where Jack captures him and starts torturing him.

Given that Ali was about to nuke himself along with L.A., the torture’s not all that effective. So Jack ups the ante and sets up a video connection to Ali’s family, who are tied to chairs and being held by gunmen.

He still refuses to give Jack any info, so Jack gives the signal and Ali’s son is executed in cold blood. That works.

After George Mason (already dying of radiation exposure) sacrifices himself by flying the nuke over the desert to be detonated, the U.S. wants to retaliate against whoever’s reponsible. CTU raids Ali’s hotel room and finds a recorded conversation (henceforth known as the “Cyprus recording”) between Ali and high-ranking officials from his and two other unnamed Middle Eastern countries.

Michelle and Jack don’t believe the recording is real. Jack tells Ali that his son isn’t really dead. Ali again insists the recording is fake, but he’s then assassinated. Jack must then prove the Cyprus recording is fake.

This whole plot line leads to the removal of President David Palmer by his Cabinet under the 25th Amendment and his eventual reinstatement because, of course, Jack was right, he was right all along.

It turns out that Marie Warner helped Ali bring the bomb into the country, in part by funnelling at least $475K from her dad’s company to Ali for Second Wave. She shoots a CTU agent and her fiance, Reza, in cold blood to prevent the truth from coming out. But Marie’s ultimate motivations and how she got involved with Ali are never really explained.

Extra: Palmer’s temporary removal led to an abiding friendship with Secret Service Agent Aaron Pierce, who became one of the coolest of the cool in later seasons. (Pierce was in Season 1 as well; he and Jack Bauer are the only two characters to appear in every single season so far. Here’s hoping he’s in Season 7.)

Also, Day 2 is set 18 months after Day 1 and is believed to take place in September 2005.

ALSO, this is the infamous cougar bait season. It has nothing to do with Ali, unfortunately, but has provided much wonderful humor for years.

Final Rankings (out of 10)
Meanness: 4
Coolness: 4
Reign of Terror: 5
Sexiness: 10
Total Points: 23

Blogs4Bauer has ranked the hottest women of 24, now we set our eyes on the people we love to hate. From Victor Drazen to Behrooz we’ll breakdown the top villains of our favorite show and reveal the Top 10 – 24 Villains of all time.

Let’s get it started before Jack kills them all.

Name: Victor Drazen
Season: One
Occupation: Balkan warlord/prisoner
Status: Dead

Victor Drazen only made two mistakes. The first was Speed. The second and final mistake was to piss off Jack Bauer.

Victor, or “VD” as we like to call him, actually started his time on 24 in jail. However a few hours later VD would end up with more lead than a baby toy made in China. What happened in between is why he’s on our list.

VD was all set to break out of jail thanks to his son, Andre. Lil’ Drazen had a commando team that infiltrated the prison, however Jack got in their way and a Chinese stand-off ensued. Jack gave up his weapon and was held hostage. Jack managed to avoid getting shot by VD by claiming that he could free his other son, Alexis.

In the meantime, Kim Bauer was kidnapped by Drazen’s men. Who tricked her by dressing up in a cougar outfit and offering her girl scout cookies.

Jack managed to pull a knife on one of VD’s friend’s daughter, Mila and another Chinese stand-off ensued until VD shot and killed Mila. Jack surrendered, obviously impressed and pleaded with VD to shoot his daughter too. VD’s friend was very upset so VD killed him.

In order to get Kim back, Jack was ordered to carry an explosive-laden cell phone to David Palmer. After picking up the phone from Bauer, Palmer said it wasn’t working and asked Jack about his insurance policy. Jack threw the iphone out the window and it blew up. The Drazens thought that Palmer was dead, because that was what The New Republic was reporting at the time, along with a shocking article on CTU agents using helicopter blades to chop up kittens (who also had cancer) for fun.

The Drazens were about to escape from LA when none other than Jack Bauer arrives and starts shooting up the place. By the way, Jack is extremely pissed because Nina Myers told Jack that Kim had been murdered. So it ends up just Jack, VD, and their guns. Drazen’s gun did not have any bullets so he surrendered, but Jack’s gun did and he ends up unloading a dozen or so into our villain, even as his corpse floats away.

Extra Info: VD was the first villain to take Jack Bauer hostage. A move that has never, ever worked out for anyone.

Final Rankings (out of 10)
Meanness: 7
Coolness: 6
Reign of Terror: 2
Sexiness: 1
Total Points: 16