Blogs.4Bauer

Pepperidge Farm remembers. So do the Limeys:

During a lecture given at a meeting in the House of Lords, Dame Eliza said the British government had made an official complaint to Washington over the abuse of detainees. But no further details have emerged on either side of the Atlantic of when this complaint was made, or what form it took.

In her speech, highly critical of the US’s conduct during the war on terror, the former secret service chief implied that the leadership in Washington was inspired by watching the TV espionage thriller 24. She said: “Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld certainly watched 24″. Dame Eliza said: “The Americans were very keen that people like us did not discover what they were doing.” She insisted that she had been unaware of what was going on until her retirement in 2007.

Wrong, Eliza. Bush, Cheney, and Rumsfeld – miss them yet? – were inspired by Blogs4Bauer’s weekly liveblogging. All three submitted guesses for the Jack Bauer Kill Counter on a routine basis.

Didn’t you get the memo?

I thought I was a big 24 fan – seeing that I’ve been loyal since Hour 1 and have a website called Blogs4Bauer. I even have a CTU mouse pad. However Suresh Joachim of Sweden makes me look like like a poser.

TELEVISION addict Suresh Joachim has broken his own Guinness world record for nonstop broadcast-television watching, clocking 72 hours in Stockholm, Sweden.

Mr Joachim, a Sri Lanka native who lives in Toronto, watched three seasons of the drama series 24 featuring Kiefer Sutherland, according to Swedish TV4 spokeswoman Janina Witkowski. (source)

I want to know if he included Season 6 in his marathon.  That would have set an endurance and torture record.

If you find this blog – Suresh – please email us.

ATTENTION-starved Paris Hilton has evidently run out of men to smooch with and is moving on to women. Revelers at Tenjune in the Meatpacking District Tuesday night spotted a partying Paris “making out” with “24″ star Elisha Cuthbert. “They were drinking and dancing, and all of suddenly they just started kissing,” said the onlooker who told us the liplock lasted “about a minute.” Cuthbert’s rep, who was not at the club, denies the story, although several witnesses confirmed they saw the face-suck. – Page Six – NY Post

Ok…so Kim Bauer probably has a mad case of the face-crabs now. But, this sad story does give us a legitimate opportunity to post a picture of the pre-infected Kim Bauer and what has happened to her since. Enjoy.

Stop staring, someone get her some bleach.

The other night, I tuned into the GOP/CNN/You Tube/DNC Plant debate (it was a really, really, really slow TV night). In between Huckabee’s praisin’ the Lord, Romney’s hair and Ron Paul…well being Ron Paul, there was John McCain talking torture and 24.

It turns out that former 24 star John McCain has been dropping Jack Bauer’s name on the campaign trail as well.

“We all love Jack Bauer,” McCain said. “‘Where’s the nuclear weapon?’ ‘I’m not telling.’ Blam, blows the kneecap off and ‘I’ll tell ya.’”

That’s not real life, said McCain, a former Vietnam POW at odds with some rivals and members of the Bush administration over what interrogation techniques should be ruled out as torture. “It’s not Jack Bauer. It’s not ’24.’” (source)

However McCain got it wrong. Bauer blew off the kneecap of RoboCop’s wife in Season 5 when he refused to answer some questions. John McCain…he may know a little about getting bamboo shoots shoved up his fingernails, but he has a lot to learn about Jack Bauer.

Someone pass me a towel.

The TV premiere of the 24 – Season 7 trailer is on Fox tonight during the 7th inning of the World Series. Not to spoil it, but the Red Sox will be up 11 – 2 with home runs from Manny, Big Papi, and possibly even JD Drew. Ok, so maybe not Drew.

You can also go to Times Square around 1pm today and watch it in the rain. Or you can just watch the trailer now.

Jack Bauer brings torture back, check.
There’s a shooter on the roof, check!
Mole in the FBI, check.
Tony’s back, check.
Tony’s a bad guy who wants to crash airplanes. What?

I have an issue with Tony’s new favorite hobby, crashing airliners. John McClane called, he wants the Die Hard 2 plot back. If they are going to steal a Die Hard plot, at least steal from one of the good ones. Someone get me Samuel L. Jackson and some snarky German terrorists for Jack Bauer to take down while performing asinine tasks and riddles?

Hot Agent: Do whatever it takes, torture him if you have to.
Bauer: I’m going to enjoy this.

So, what do you think? I remember the explosive Season 6 trailer looked pretty cool as well.

Jack Bauer Appreciation Day – Guide to Office Politics (Part 2)

After locating a mole in your office, the next step is to take action. When dealing with an office mole, the best route would be to think like Jack Bauer. Someone doesn’t wash their hands in the bathroom….Jack Bauer would pull out the old Chinese water torture. Problem solved.

Good: What Jack Bauer would do
Bad: What Miles would do

Mole will not confess to being a mole.
Good: Sit the “mole” down and tell them you plan on popping out their eyeballs with a knife.
Bad: Going to Human Resources and telling on the “mole”.

Someone keeps stealing critical office equipment
Good: Place a tracking device on stapler. When located, force the “mole” to swallow a towel.
Bad: Order new supplies and hope they stop.

Office “mole” keeps stealing lunches from the office fridge
Good: Inject poison into ham sandwich and keep antidote handy to use as bargaining tool.
Bad: Keep your food at your desk.

When you press the elevator button…a “mole” comes along and presses it again.
Good: Kick to the groin.
Bad: Ignore it, they obviously do not trust the little light inside the button or your ability to fully press the button.

Got other WWJBD solutions to office problems? Post them in the comments below.