In 6 days, Jack Bauer has saved the world, been taken hostage, prevented the assassination of a president, helped bring down a corrupt president, been tortured, gave out plenty of torture, defused bombs, weeded out moles, watched many friends die, killed a few friends, witnessed a nuclear blast or two, shot his boss in the head, landed a 727 on a LA freeway, shot down a helicopter with a handgun, almost caused a war with China, reunited with his bastard son, cut off the hand of his daughter’s boyfriend…and in order to keep this post brief, I just to named a few.

When he’s done saving the day, Jack likes to sit back and watch New Amsterdam on Fox.

Surely you are thinking that Jack prefers something a little more low-brow like American Gladiators. No, Jack gets a kick out of the adventures of the immortal New York Detective John Amsterdam.

For those of you who are not familiar with the show (and judging by the ratings, that’s pretty much all of you) John Amsterdam was a Dutch soldier in New York way back in 1642. He saved the life of some Native American girl who in turn put a spell on him that gave him eternal life (until he finds true love). Which makes you wonder why she didn’t just cast the spell on herself and live forever to watch her native land develop into a haven for trust-fund babies and news anchorwomen who like to drop the F-bomb on live TV. Girl, you sold the whole island for a handful of beads, now a 500 sq ft. studio goes for over $2k a month.

So while Jack Bauer has had 6 really bad days, he’s able to wrap things up each season in about 24 hours. Amsterdam has been working on his love issue for going on 366 years! Jack thinks that’s cute. However there is one area that Amsterdam has Jack Bauer beat. During the whole season of Amsterdam…he didn’t go to the bathroom once. Jack admits that holding it for coming up on 400 years is impressive.

Sadly, New Amsterdam was canceled by Fox. This fall, Jack Bauer will have to chill out by checking out the hot Terminator chick or seeing if he’s smarter than a 5th grader.

Other Stuff Jack Bauer Likes
#1 – Cellular Telephones
#2 – Awesome Action Figures of Jack Bauer

Note: This is a blatant ripoff of my second favorite website Stuff White People Like

If you know of other things Jack Bauer likes, post them in the comments or send us an email.

Like action director Michael Bay, Jack Bauer demands things to be awesome. Awesome cell phone. Awesome manpurse. Awesome daughter, well….

When it comes to little action figures of himself, he violently demands them to be:

AWESOME

Such is the case with the awesome Jack Bauer action figure from Diamond Select Toys. It is so bad-assingly awesome that your child would be kicked out of school forever if they even thought about bringing it in for show-and-tell.

The Jack Bauer action figure stands at 12 inches which beats out GI Joe by 9 1/4 inches. Voltron…please Jack Bauer would have those cats spade and neutered. Transformers…Jack Bauer would drink two of Optimus Prime’s milkshakes and steal his lunch money. Go-Bots….Don’t make me laugh with those ghetto transformers.

This action figure has “25 points of articulation” which is awesome, however I have no idea what that means. But it would be really awesome if you could articulate the hands to hold a gun in one hand and a cellphone in the other. Other accessories include the severed head of Marwan, a knife, spare cellphone, Chase’s hand and Behrooz’s manhood.

There have been other Jack Bauer figures that are also awesome, but none have Jack Bauer wearing a Dr. Evil-esq Nehru jacket (left).

These figures depict the Season 1 Jack Bauer. Which is cool, however I demand they make a Season 5 Jack Bauer with a Boeing 757 play set so I can recreate Jack Bauer’s hijacking and subsequent landing on a California freeway (at night), which was…awesome.

Other Stuff Jack Bauer Likes
#1 – Cellular Telephones

Note: This is a blatant ripoff of my second favorite website Stuff White People Like

If you know of other things Jack Bauer likes, post them in the comments or send us an email.

In this series “stuff Jack Bauer likes” we will write about stuff Jack Bauer really likes. We could talk about stuff that Jack doesn’t like, but that list somehow keeps getting shorter and shorter.

So the first thing we will talk about Jack liking is really obvious, cellular telephones. Jack’s cell phone has been a key sidekick since the first worst day of Jack Bauer’s life back in 2001. Since then his various cell phones have seen more and more face time. At one point last season, an entire episode was done entirely on cell phones. The use of the cell phone on 24 is so common that the subplot for Season 7 that had Jack Bauer in Africa was scrapped because he couldn’t get a decent signal on the Serengeti.

It’s a fact that the rise of the popularity of cell phones ties back to the rise of Jack Bauer, just check out the chart below. When the series premiered in late 2001, only 300 of 1,000 people had cell phones. By the time Season 6 started that number had risen to almost 900 in 1,000.

Jack Bauer’s cell phone never dials a wrong number, never needs charging, and never drops a call. The cell phone keeps Jack in touch with Presidents, CTU, his hot daughter, and terrorists alike. His trusty Treo even blew up a couple of terrorists in Season 5, we analyzed the phone in this post (which is still one of our more heavily trafficked pages – just after Moon Bloodgood’s picture). His cell phone is so important that in Season 5 Bauer revealed that he keeps a spare flip-phone just to turn over to bad guys in case he’s captured (which happens quite a bit).

Click below to see how Jack Bauer’s cell phone usage differs from the general public

So here’s to you, cellular telephone. Without you LA would have been nuked before Season 6 and 24 would not have been the same show.

Feel free to post other things Jack Bauer likes and we may include them in a future installment.

Note: This is a blatant ripoff of my second favorite website Stuff White People Like