Sloshspot posted this great illustration of Jack Bauer’s anatomy the other day (click on image to enlarge):
P.S.: How appropriate was it that it was Sloshspot? Not sayin’ Kiefer has a drinking problem or anything.
Ho. Lee. Crap! Jack went ballistic this week and broke the Kill counter with a 30-point night. See what happens when I don’t liveblog?
This week’s winner is RVD who was closest without going over: “Somehow, Jack will come through again… how about 18?”
Congratulations! Your Jack Bauer official spent shell casings are enroute.
Ho. Lee. Crap! The Kill Counter went ca-ca cuckoo this week. Jack killed more people than Cecil B. DeMille, scored a combo, administered a headbutt, shouted “Drop the Weapon” and apologized. The sum total of the carnage was an almost unheard of – and show title appropriate – 24 points!
RVD (Jack will do just as well as the Phillies did over the Mets last night – 11) and AmyV (YOU HEARD ME, 11 BIG ONES!!!) were the closest without going over this week with 11. (Chase’s Right Hand guessed after the start of the show. Sorry.)
Congratulations, guys! Your Dana Walsh blood-stained plastic tarp will be mailed out shortly.
Here’s the JBKC3.5 for 11am-Noon. Will tomorrow be the night that the Kill Counter goes wild?
Each week we will ask you to submit how many points you think Jack will get, the person closest wins. Submit how many points Jack Bauer will rack up in tonight’s episodes in the comments – we will publish the winner on Tuesday (5/4).
Kill Counter 3.5
3 kills = 3 points + 3 combo = 6 points
Bonus Points
“Dammit” = 1 point
“We don’t have enough time” = 1 point
“Cover me” = 1 point
“Drop the weapon” = 1 point
Use of a Jack Sack = 5 points
Shooting down a helicopter = 10 points
Mentioning Kim Bauer = 2 points
Apologizing for anything = -5 points
Crying = -5 points
Surrendering to bad guys = -10 points
Headbutting anyone = 20 points
Previous Jack Bauer Kill Counters
Season 5 Kill Counter
Season 6 Kill Counter
Redemption Kill Counter
Previous Season 8 Winners
1am-2am – Wisekrakr and Juan Paxety win with “1″.
2am-3am – Steveegg wins with “Now that I’m commenting in the right post, I’ll go with 2. DAMMIT!”
3am-4am – No winners.
4am-5am – Juan Paxety wins with “The new sissy Jack will either apologize or cry. -5?”
5am-6am – Jim and Chase’s Right Hand win with “4 points.”
6am-8am – Jim wins with “Two hour total – 9. I have no idea why.”
8am-9am – Andy T gets closest with “A grand total of -6.”
9am-10am – Jim wins the day with “One. Any kills will be offset by crying.”
10am-11am – Sunny “I’m going with lucky 7″ and Old Dog “I’ll go with seven. I feel a combo coming!” both guessed lucky number seven.
Like anyone cares after they killed off RedHot. Oh well, between the apology and the crying, Jack sunk to a new low this week, with a pitiful -8 points. Yeah, a negative 8.
The closest to this terrible tally this week was Andy T, with “Two apologies (one to Pres Taylor for not getting him to say one Million Rupees and one to Red Hot for not being there when she went insane), one mention of Kim (part of the Red Hot scene, every woman wants to get it on with a grampa), one dammit, one kill for a grand total of -6.”
Congratulations, Andy. Your RedHot death towel is enroute to you via U.S Mail.
Here’s tonight’s JBKC3.5 for 8am-9am. What are the odds that a lot of people will pick zero?
Each week we will ask you to submit how many points you think Jack will get, the person closest wins. Submit how many points Jack Bauer will rack up in tonight’s episodes in the comments – we will publish the winner on Tuesday (4/13).
Kill Counter 3.5
3 kills = 3 points + 3 combo = 6 points
Bonus Points
“Dammit” = 1 point
“We don’t have enough time” = 1 point
“Cover me” = 1 point
“Drop the weapon” = 1 point
Use of a Jack Sack = 5 points
Shooting down a helicopter = 10 points
Mentioning Kim Bauer = 2 points
Apologizing for anything = -5 points
Crying = -5 points
Surrendering to bad guys = -10 points
Headbutting anyone = 20 points
Previous Jack Bauer Kill Counters
Season 5 Kill Counter
Season 6 Kill Counter
Redemption Kill Counter
Previous Season 8 Winners
Midnight-1am – Steveegg wins with nada: “Filler night – 0.”
1am-2am – Wisekrakr and Juan Paxety win with “1″.
2am-3am – Steveegg wins with “Now that I’m commenting in the right post, I’ll go with 2. DAMMIT!”
3am-4am – No winners.
4am-5am – Juan Paxety wins with “The new sissy Jack will either apologize or cry. -5?”
5am-6am – Jim and Chase’s Right Hand win with “4 points.”
6am-9am – Jim wins with “Two hour total – 9. I have no idea why.”
Pepperidge Farm remembers. So do the Limeys:
During a lecture given at a meeting in the House of Lords, Dame Eliza said the British government had made an official complaint to Washington over the abuse of detainees. But no further details have emerged on either side of the Atlantic of when this complaint was made, or what form it took.
In her speech, highly critical of the US’s conduct during the war on terror, the former secret service chief implied that the leadership in Washington was inspired by watching the TV espionage thriller 24. She said: “Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld certainly watched 24″. Dame Eliza said: “The Americans were very keen that people like us did not discover what they were doing.” She insisted that she had been unaware of what was going on until her retirement in 2007.
Wrong, Eliza. Bush, Cheney, and Rumsfeld – miss them yet? – were inspired by Blogs4Bauer’s weekly liveblogging. All three submitted guesses for the Jack Bauer Kill Counter on a routine basis.
Didn’t you get the memo?
Digital Spy reports that 24 could be moving to NBC from Fox. This makes my dream of watching a 24-Office mash-up closer to reality.
Jack Bauer spending 24 hours at Dunder Mifflin…oh the possibilities.
At the end of last night’s episode, just before Ernie Anastos previewed what would be on the 10pm news, The Jack Sack helped coin a new word that will become part of 24 lexicon forever.
In honor of his (and Wyatt’s) contribution, I’ve submitted “Wyattastic” to Urban Dictionary where millions of people looking for crude sexual innuendo will instead be taught about Wyatt’s penchant for liveblogging episodes of 24 where even Jack Bauer looks bored.
For example, as TJS stated, last night’s episode was “Wyattastic”.
Submit your own examples of using this new word in the comments.
Update: Urban Dictionary published an entry for Wyattastic.
Gotta love 24 in German:
Just a few things that have been floating around my cloud cuckoo mind:
1. Is there a more annoying character on 24 this season than Dana Walsh? This broad is fast approaching Kim Bauer levels. Dude, tell your new boyfriend to torture your old boyfriend, and be done with it!
(Of course, I may hate her because I am still bent at how BSG went from great to teh suck.)
2. Speaking of annoying, while I think Red Hot is smoking hot, I do have a bone to pick with her. Heh, heh, “bone.” What kind of dolt decides it’s a good idea to take a shower a few feet from a man who wants to rape her? Hello??!!!
3. Can we just do away with the Jack Bauer Kill Counter? I don’t like this new, p.c. Jack Bauer at all. How many people has he killed so far this season? Three? Four? Stop it. Forget “injuring” evil Russians with CTU sniper fire and start stabbing people in the neck with a swizzle stick already!
Punxsutawney Phil, the infamous weather predicting rodent, emerged from his hole on Tuesday and saw Jack Bauer’s shadow signaling at least 18 more weeks of terrorists getting their ass kicked and the end of winter.
That’ll teach the fat guy.
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