In the meantime – post your bet on the number of points will rack up tonight here.  Go Jets.

7:06

54 minutes until Jack is back!  Fox should be ashamed for keeping Jack Bauer off the TV for so long.  See what happens when Jack isn’t out killing terrorists!  Jack goes dormat – the executives of AIG raid the company.  Jack is off TV – Somali pirates hijack boats without fear of reprisal.  Do I even need to remind you that if Jack was in Georgia – the country not the Peach State – Russia would have left them the hell alone.

Well I want blood.  So until then – check out what we were up to while 24 was off the air.

24 Writers Strike Substitute
Stuff Jack Bauer Likes
a Picture of Kim Bauer
Talk Like Jack Bauer Day
The writers strike and you
The top villains of 24
A picture of Moon Bloodgood (our most trafficked post ever)

7:59:59…8:00:00pm

Jack is back!

Ok Season 6.5 opens up on an African school bus.  Wait no, they are 10 year old alcoholic soldiers.  Worst army ever.

What is this African Children of the Corn?

The following takes place between 3 and 5 pm.

While we wait for Jack to start killing dudes – let me tell you what I had to do in order to get my wife to allow me to watch 24 and post for 2 hours.  I had to watch Clueless AND My Big Fat Greek Wedding on TBS.

“You have a daughter”  “Yes, but she’s a moron”

Willie stole Jack Bauer’s knife and lived to see the 4th grade.  Jack is going soft.

Jack just got served.  We are fighting 2 wars, the economy is in the shitter and the government wants to serve legal papers to Jack Bauer.

What’s the colonel going to invade? Chuck E Cheese?

It’s always bad news when the bossman asks you to burn files and bury the ashes.

COME ON JACK – give me a “dammit” or something!

“DAMMIT” +1 point

The last few seasons of 24 have all started the same.  Jack Bauer tries to escape trouble…and trouble finds Jack Bauer.  Instead of LA – it’s Sengala.

Oh God – they have to play soccer. Africa is worse than I thought.

BANG BANG Recess is over!

3:21….Did they go 21 minutes without a commercial?

Commercial Break
I’d rather start an army of children in Africa than spend $30,000 on a Hyundai.
Homeless rich people…how low will Fox go (do I need to ask)?

3:26

WHAT?  A Hyundai tie-in.  Really Fox?  Are times that tough?

Madame President meet Caged Weasel.  24 Really jumped the shark on that one, we will call her Sarah Halin.

The Vice President did warn us that the new president would face a crisis if we elected them.

Female presidents always try to start conflicts.  In Commander in Chief – MacKenzie Allen almost started a nuclear war in more than one episode.  She invaded another country before the real president started to decompose.

Don’t worry little Mutombo – this show is called 24, I will be back to shoot some dudes.

Sprint Tie-in.  Nextel.  “I am going to save your kids, did I mention the reception on these Nextel phone is really clear”

Gloc – that’s a tie-in I can get behind!

Jack Kills a Dude +1
Jack Kills a Dude +1
Jack Kills a Dude +1
Jack Kills a Dude +1
Jack Kills a Dude +1
Jack Kills a Dude +1
Jack Kills a Dude +1
Jack Kills a Dude +1
Jack Kills a Dude +1
Jack Kills a Dude +1

Cardinal rule of 24 Villains – kill Jack Bauer when you have a chance.

3:44 – Commercial Break

I’d rather buy a $30kHyundai than watch Transporter 3 (aka Audi commercial with shooting).

Kill Counter = 11 points (10 kills, 1 Dammit)

3:49

This fancy eye-glass wearing side-burned scumbag has to go down.

Jack Kills a Dude +1

With his thighs of steel…don’t piss off Jack Bauer.   But what what was up with the guy and the rear-view mirror?

The UN is a worthless bunch.  Fox is not breaking any new ground there.

3:56 – Commercial Break

Hyundai Genesis – still a Hyundai…

Fringe – best new show on Fox (which isn’t saying much) but still a good show.

4:00 – Hour 2

24 always has more squirrley white dudes than a WWE event.

You know what I’m missing right about now?  That CTU ring tone.

HEY it’s General Rerun!

4:07 -  Commercial Break

21 minutes for the first commercial break – 7 minutes for this one.

Kill Counter Update = 12 points (11 kills, 1 Dammit)

I’d rather watch the new Adam Sandler movie than drive a Hyundai.  I saw that car at the NY Auto show – it is ugly…and a Hyundai.

Baby Ebay commercial – I just lost my diapers in the stock market.  Damn you AIG!!!

4:12

The nuke codes in the hands of a chick.  We are doomed.

Did that guy just take Jack’s “we don’t have enough time” line?

Helicopter – I sense a 5 pointer.

4:17 – Another freaking commercial break.

I’d rather watch Tom Cruise’s new movie than drive a…no, I’d drive a Hyundai before seeing that movie.

ZOMBIE Tony sighting (season 7 sneak peek).

4:21

Helicopter is in the air, which means it’s closer to being shot down by Jack Bauer.

Computer geeks are not the same when they are not Chloe.

Torture scenes are not the same when Jack Bauer isn’t involved.

4:27 Commercial Break.  Really Fox?

You can buy 24: Redemption on Tuesday.  It comes on a really small DVD because it’s only 16 minutes long without the Hyundai and movie commercials.

Kill Counter Update = 12 points (11 kills, 1 Dammit)

4:31 (or 6 minutes to another commercial)

Jack has shot a lot of African guys.  What does Jack have against black people?  If CAIR was upset about Jack killing Muslims, I bet Al Sharpton has already called the Fox studios.  Twice.

Only Jack can shoot down a helicopter with a handgun.

The kid runs back for a scarf that was originally going to Kim Bauer – and ends up screwing things up.  Once again, Kim Bauer finds a way to ruin Jack Bauer’s day.

“There’s no time Jack”…stealing Jack’s lines…that’s a death sentence.  Mr. Benton is deadmeat – no homework tonight!

Russian mine – probably won’t go off.  Nevermind.

4:40 – Commercial Break

malarianomore.org – the only commercial worth a damn.  Even though the site has crashed.

4:46

Willie!  Mr. Benton had blue eyes.  One blew there…one blew there.

Jack Kills a Dude +1
Jack Kills a Dude +1
Jack Kills a Dude +1

The old Jack Bauer would have capped the kid.

Kill Counter Update = 15 points (14 kills, 1 Dammit)

Who are you?  He’s Jack “mother farking” Bauer.  Now open the gate.

DAMMIT +1

DAMMIT +1

That greaseball is going to get his.

4:59….5:00

Final Kill Counter Update = 17 points (14 kills, 3 Dammits)

Season 7 Preview

-Tony’s back – Chloe’s back.  Dude from Sons of Anarchy.  Explosions and an uzi.  I cannot wait.

So what did you think?

My thoughts.  I thought it was good.  When I heard Jack was going to be in Africa – I expected that Season 6 was not the worst that Fox could offer.  However this 2 hour installment was pretty good.  There was some old-school Jack Bauer shooting, and a few “dammits”.  I could have done without the filler with the junkie and would have liked fewer commercials.

The previews for Season 7 has me pumped up for January.  I said to myself that I wouldn’t waste my time blogging for Bauer if it meant sitting through another crappy season.  Last season was really hard to watch (and even harder to blog about).

Whatever we post about – we are all fans of 24 and want Fox to let Jack be Jack.  Hopefully we can just put Season 6 out of our memory (sort of like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom).  So stay tuned to Blogs4Bauer as we all gear up for Zombie Tony’s return in January.  If Jack Bauer can come back from the dead (twice), Tony can do it at least once.

Just when you think 24 could not possible sink further into the depths of redunkulousness, Entertainment Weekly is reporting that Kim Bauer will return, joining Zombie Tony and Jack “Into Africa” Bauer.

“Sources confirm to me exclusively that Cuthbert has inked a deal to reprise her role as Jack’s lightning rod of an offspring for a season-ending arc that will no doubt trigger a new round of wholly outdated and painfully unfunny cougar jokes,” said EW’s Michael Ausiello in his Ask Auseillo column.

It also goes on to say that she will be appearing without her old boyfriend, originally played by C. Thomas Howell, but with a child of her own.

Do the writer’s of 24 really think that Jack would let Kim Bauer have children?  Does he not put up with enough crap in his day job?

Kim Bauer’s Kid Jokes

How do you get Kim Bauer’s kid out of a tree?
-Wave at him/her

Jack Bauer went over to visit his grandchild and saw it staring at the carton of orange juice. So he asks why they are staring at the carton of OJ. “Because it says ‘concentrate’ on it” says Little Bauer.

How do you know Kim’s child is related to Jack Bauer?
-It burned down the school to get out of 3rd grade.

How did Jack Bauer know that Kim’s kid was at his desk?
-There was whiteout on the computer screen.

Kim Bauer and her child were in Orlando and saw a sign that said “Disney Left”.  So they went home.

When Kim’s baby was born, she looked down at the umbilical cord and said, “Wow, it comes with cable too!”

Did you hear about the time that Kim bought little Bauer a package of M&M’s?
-She returned them because they were all W’s

Why don’t Kim and her child don’t watch 60 Minutes?
-Because they don’t have 2 hours to spare.

Spread the word. Today is JBAD!

Previous JBAD Posts
May 9th 2007
May 9th, 2006
May 9th, 2005