Blogs.4Bauer

Digital Spy reports that 24 could be moving to NBC from Fox.  This makes my dream of watching a 24-Office mash-up closer to reality.

Jack Bauer spending 24 hours at Dunder Mifflin…oh the possibilities.

Punxsutawney Phil, the infamous weather predicting rodent, emerged from his hole on Tuesday and saw Jack Bauer’s shadow signaling at least 18 more weeks of terrorists getting their ass kicked and the end of winter.

Just when you thought we were blessed with a Kim Bauer fix without some silly sideplot.   She didn’t drag soulman (C. Thomas Howell) to the office or get kidnapped.  Nope, this time she made Jack Bauer a grandparent.  Really, Jack Bauer is a grandpa!  I have a grandpa, he served in WW2 – she has a Grandpa and he saves the world in 24-hour increments.

Imagine all the nightime stories Grandpa Baer can read to Kim Bauer Jr.?  

“Tell me the story about the time you landed an airplane on the LA Freeway grampa Bauer”

“Gramdpa Bauer says forcing a bad guy to swallow a towel is more effective than hooking up car batteries to bad guys junk in most cases”

Then the questions will come up about where Grandma is and who’s the red-haired bimbo hanging out with grandpa.  Then baby Bauer will be told that great-grandpa was a bad guy and is most likely in hell with Uncle Graem.  

God help her if she ever googles “Jack Bauer”.  

Babies aren't supposed to have stuffed cougars in their crib

Happy St. Patrick’s day from Blogs4Bauer. When you are out drinking with all your “Irish” friends tonight, let them know the true story behind St. Patrick’s day.

St. Patrick was a good man but he was given credit for scaring snakes out of Ireland, which is not 100% true.  It’s not widely known that Saint Patrick only spooked the snakes.  They didn’t leave until one Paddy McBauer chased down all the snakes and growled at them, which scared them out of Ireland for good.   He then went and scared off the French.

So drink your green beer, eat your corned beef, kiss someone because they’re Irish.  But know there are no snakes (or french people) in Ireland thanks to Paddy McBauer.

1) If you work with Jack Bauer, there’s a 75% chance that he’ll eventually attack you. Theres a pretty good chance you’ll die.  If your name rhymes with Shill Hughcannon or Flirtus Canning odds are you’ll get both.  Did Jack attack Ryan Chappelle prior to shooting him in the head?

2) There’s a company out there that makes and installs ridiculously large ventalation shafts.

3) Agent Larry “The Douche” Moss is really making Jack Bauer mad.  You don’t make Jack Bauer mad, just ask the telephone Jack tased in Episode 11.

4) Jon Voight may have driven a 1989 LeBaron, but he still makes one hell of a bad guy.

5) You won’t see torture scenes involving a baby and old men being offed for the hell of it on Heroes.

6) 24 fans really don’t care about global warming, even if you think juxtaposing a couple of 24 catch phrases in a PSA will do the trick.  Dammit.
24 Going Green PSA – Cherry Jones

To quote the immortal Comic Book Guy: “Worst idea . . . EVER!” You may want to get the duct tape ready, because this rumor is guaranteed to ‘splode your skull:

What do you say when Robin Williams asks, “Can I be on “24?”

Wanna know “24″ star Kiefer Sutherland’s response?

“Wow. It would be an honor.”

An honor for whom? Kiefer Sutherland or the millions of 24 fans. Lord knows our informal poll amongst the B4B contributors was met with all the excitement and exuberance of a Nancy Pelosi/Newt Gingrich home sex tape. *shudder*

“You’re talking about an Academy Award-winning actor with no lack of energy, which is what we require,” Sutherland admits.

“Robin would be an innocent computer analyst who stumbles onto something cryptic he doesn’t know he has and becomes a target. Jack Bauer, the government and the bad guys are all looking for this guy, who is scared to death and running for his life.” (H/T – Radar Online)

If only art could imitate life. Look, I like Robin Williams . . . in small doses . . . in comedies. The fact that the producers of 24 are making us sit through an entire season of Janeane Frakkin’ Garofalo shows that the viewers have suffered enough. Adding Robin Williams to the cast next season – which is rumored to be the final season – would be considered cruel and unfunny punishment.

Personally, I would rather see 24 sign on Michelle Obama, Billy Mays, and Vince, the ShamWow Guy before inking Robin Williams.

I’m just sayin’.

I thought I was a big 24 fan – seeing that I’ve been loyal since Hour 1 and have a website called Blogs4Bauer. I even have a CTU mouse pad. However Suresh Joachim of Sweden makes me look like like a poser.

TELEVISION addict Suresh Joachim has broken his own Guinness world record for nonstop broadcast-television watching, clocking 72 hours in Stockholm, Sweden.

Mr Joachim, a Sri Lanka native who lives in Toronto, watched three seasons of the drama series 24 featuring Kiefer Sutherland, according to Swedish TV4 spokeswoman Janina Witkowski. (source)

I want to know if he included Season 6 in his marathon.  That would have set an endurance and torture record.

If you find this blog – Suresh – please email us.

Oh sweet Jesus, they made a 24 Pinball game.  This is good news for the 24-nerds of us out there who never get sick of the video game Jack Bauer yelling at us in Call of Duty:  World at War.  I throw some matches just to hear Jack yell “a lot of good men died today…for nothing“. 

The 24™ pinball contains original speech by Mary Lynn Rajskub, who plays Chloe on the television show. The pinball also offers speech from the television show, as spoken by Jack (Kiefer Sutherland) and Chloe.

The 24™ pinball machine playfield features: 1. a Suitcase that holds and releases pinballs for multi-ball play; 2. a Sniper House that opens to reveal a bullet-spraying terrorist; 3. an exploding Safe House that one can shoot the pinball into; 4. several single Sniper Drop Targets that can both obscure and free up playfield shots; 5. and lots of multi-ball action.  (source)

Sounds cool and all, but if I were to make a 24 pinball game here are some features I’d include:

1. Zombie Tony mode – after your game is over, your last ball will come back to life in someone else’s game.
2. Each game’s paddle buttons are connected to a real terrorist’s testicles. Each time you hit the paddles, the terrorist gets shocked in the nuts.
3. A mole will sometimes come up and steal your ball
4. You should be able to play with your cell phone
5. Kim Bauer mode – a cougar attacks your ball
6.  Speaking of Kim, more pictures of Kim
7. A couple pictures of Moon Bloodgood wouldn’t hurt either
8. Instead of quarters, the game runs on terrorist’s teeth and kitten tears

Have any other options you would like to see included? Post them in the comments.

Product Placements on 24 are about as common as dead bodies.  According to research, fans of 24 can recall product placements better than fans of any other  prime-time show.  Yay, good for us.  We’ve endured placements of Treo’s, manpurses, and now Bill is talking on a Sprint phone while Jack drives a Hyundai.  

Ford and Hyundai will now share the spotlight on 24 with government agents still driving Fords. But Bauer will be cruising in a Hyundai. 

According to Nielsen IAG research, Hyundai’s integration with this show will be twice as effective as brand messaging on any other primetime show. 24 records one of the highest consumer recall rates for product placements in prime-time. (source)

Jack Bauer has saved the world countless times and we are led to believe all he has to show for it is a knockoff Korean piece of crap?  Sure it has a 100,000 mile warranty, but it’s no BMW. 

If the writers of the show can put Jack in a Hyundai, it begs to ask what product placements didn’t make the cut.  

Below are the first in a Blogs4Bauer series on 24 – Product Placement Rejects. 

Heineken
Heineken wanted to make beer the official drink of 24.   By placing the product in various scenes, the Dutch beer company expected sales to increase 100% in 2009.  However the agreement fell apart when marketing manager Hans Gruber wanted Jack to drive around in his Hyundai with a mini-keg in his lap while talking on his Sprint phone.   Writers argued that Jack Bauer would never drink and drive.

Fox News
Fox airs 24, so naturally Fox News thought it should have a product placement on 24.  However it was later discovered that, like the fact that there is no music on MTV, there’s also very little news on Fox News.  

Plus, the infectious monkey from the movie Outbreak…oh, wait, that’s Janeane Garofalo.  Well, she walked out off the set when she saw her desk on the set for the first time.

 If you know of any other potential 24 Product Placement Rejects, post a comment.

A girl can dream, can’t she? (Said girl would be me. Why are they bringing back Kim? Whyyyyyy?)

Anyhow, as I reported earlier on Remote Access, EW.com has reported that once Episode 18 finishes filming Sept. 15, production will shut down until Oct. 9 “while the writers reshape the upcoming season’s creative direction—specifically the transition leading to the end game.”

Now, that’s not necessarily all bad.

Perhaps Season 6 was a crap-fest because they didn’t take a break for a while and try to figure out exactly where things were going. Season 6 lurched from mini-plot to mini-plot with little thought to the overarching thread that generally ties the season together.

Plus, we had all the truly stupid stuff that, unlike the Kim Bauer storyline in Season 2, threatened to erase from our collective consciousness anything halfway decent that happened ( whole red herring of Josh Bauer and who was his father (Jack? Phillip? The mailman?), whatever happened in Denver between the Rickster and Milo, the fact that all of the Los Angeles basin more or less ignored the fact that a nuke had just gone off.

There were some absolutely stellar moments (a nuke going off in hour FOUR?), killing Curtis and Chloe dropping a d-bomb. Plus Milo getting killed off and Kim becoming a babbling idiot for real, not just in some people’s opinions.

But pretty much most fans agree that the end left us sitting there and pretty much saying, “WTF? NO, SERIOUSLY, WTF????”

Howard Gordon told this to EW.com:

We had a couple of scripts that we weren’t happy with. We just couldn’t get this direction to work, and we found another one that we liked better, so we wound up retooling it.

Fortunately, Gordon said production was ahead of schedule so far, so this won’t affect the January 2009 start date.