Shoots And Spatters Caption Contest
(Source: 24 Wikia)
Submit your original caption for this photo in the comments section, or we’ll shove you into an oxygen chamber. The winners will be announced on Monday. March, 15th. Good luck!
Other Current Contests:
Cowboy Blob
Family Security Matters
Military Times
Rodney Dill
RT
Support Your Local Gunfighter
Wizbang
Well, this week the Jack Bauer Kill Counter erupted – at least compared to the last two zero-infected episodes. While there were no Jack Bauer kills this week – although he had an arguable assist on the Marcos push – there were a mere two DAMMITs. Looks like it was another Wyattastic evening.
We do have a winner, though. Steveegg wins this lame-ass week with his guess: “Now that I’m commenting in the right post, I’ll go with 2. DAMMIT!”
Congratulations, Steve. Your sweaty Kayla bedsheets are enroute to your secured location.
Here’s the post for tonight’s JBKC3.5 2am-3am. Enter your best guess in the comments.
Each week we will ask you to submit how many points you think Jack will get, the person closest wins. Submit how many points Jack Bauer will rack up in tonight’s episodes in the comments – we will publish the winner on Tuesday (3/2).
Kill Counter 3.5
3 kills = 3 points + 3 combo = 6 points
Bonus Points
“Dammit” = 1 point
“We don’t have enough time” = 1 point
“Cover me” = 1 point
“Drop the weapon” = 1 point
Use of a Jack Sack = 5 points
Shooting down a helicopter = 10 points
Mentioning Kim Bauer = 2 points
Apologizing for anything = -5 points
Crying = -5 points
Surrendering to bad guys = -10 points
Headbutting anyone = 20 points
Previous Jack Bauer Kill Counters
Season 5 Kill Counter
Season 6 Kill Counter
Redemption Kill Counter
Previous Season 8 Winners
Midnight-1am – Steveegg wins with nada: “Filler night – 0.”
1am-2am – Wisekrakr and Juan Paxety win with “1″.
The Dirty Half-Dozen Caption Contest
(Source: 24 Wikia)
Submit your caption to this pic in the comments section or we’ll dress you in a red CTU shirt. The winners will be posted on Monday, March 8th. Good luck!
Other Current Entries:
Family Security Matters
Military Times
Rodney Dill
RT
Support Your Local Gunfighter
Wizbang
Top Three Comments:
3. “OK. As senior member, I get the pretty one. The rest of you get the fat friends.” – Ettublogge
2. “Screw Mapquest. I’m tellin’ ya, there’s no Hooters on this block.” – D. Dean
WINNER! – “OK, OK CTU says there is a Shell station a block ahead, I’ll C4 the door to the mens room and you can all pee. Next time, do that before we leave.” – Dick Lepre
Kevlar Ballistic Helmet: $300
Box of Surgical Sutures: $45
Yelling at Jack Bauer: Deadly
Greetings gang! My name is Wyatt Earp, and I am here for all of your TiVo Liveblogging needs!
And just as an aside, if there are any execs from TiVo in the audience, I just want to say you folks do good work – and I am available to be a paid spokesperson. Just sayin’. With that, let’s start the clock:
1:00am – 1:12am – We open the episode with Kayla, who has been awarded a conjugal quickie with her boy toy, aka Security Guard #1 (SG1). Being a vapid idiot, Kayla informs SG1 that she told President Wayne Newton about their romantic entanglement. Amazingly, it only made things worse. Duh, and or hello! What did you think your father would say when he found out the two of you were boinking, “Congratulations?” SG1 asks Kayla to come closer, but instead of hot bondage action, he tells her that he is planning to escape – with help from another security stooge. He wants her to meet him at the rendezvous point, and she nods in agreement.
Meanwhile, Chico, Jr is performing chest compressions on the corpse of Kevin Wade. Starbuck, master of the obvious, tells him that Kevin is now in White Trash Heaven – no, not New Jersey – and asks Chico to beat feet. To his credit, Chico, Jr refuses and pulls off his best Alonzo – asking her “You want to go to jail, or do you want to go home?” – and decides to wipe the van and dump the White Trash Twins in the swamp. Starbuck sheepishly agrees.
Back at CTU, Hastings is in a conference call with President Cankles and Weasly McChiefofstaff and tells them about Farhad’s defection. There is a lot of talk about “rod smuggling,” yet Johnny Weir is nowhere to be found. Cankles is on board with Jack’s rescue of Farhad, and hopes that the rods can be found quickly. Heh. Curiously, the terrorists holding the rods – heh – are believed to be affiliated with the IRK organization. Dude, really? IRK? Yeah, I hear they are very IRKsome.
Jack is enroute to Farhad with a Chevy Suburban full of red shirts. Someone warm up the Kill Counter, please! Bauer is pairing with the Pimply-Faced Teen, and you just know that his ticket will get punched tonight.
On the po’ side of town, President Wayne Newton meets with Cankles and tells him about the IRKs. He is playing hardball with the IRK files, but backs down when Cankles tells him that she will make his country glow if America is attacked.
Out on the road, SG1 is being transported to the embassy. Sure enough, he was given a handcuff key, and after unlocking himself – and pulling out his gun??? – he stops the vehicle and orders the guards out. Incredibly, SG1 had the car pulled over on the most deserted block in New York City – Times Square. Dude, at 1:10am, every street in NYC has at least a dozen people on it, for cripes’ sake! SG1 has the guards handcuff themselves in the back of the car, calls Kayla to tell her he loves her (gag), and runs to the rendezvous point. Literally. He runs!
At the end of last night’s episode, just before Ernie Anastos previewed what would be on the 10pm news, The Jack Sack helped coin a new word that will become part of 24 lexicon forever.
In honor of his (and Wyatt’s) contribution, I’ve submitted “Wyattastic” to Urban Dictionary where millions of people looking for crude sexual innuendo will instead be taught about Wyatt’s penchant for liveblogging episodes of 24 where even Jack Bauer looks bored.
For example, as TJS stated, last night’s episode was “Wyattastic”.
Submit your own examples of using this new word in the comments.
Update: Urban Dictionary published an entry for Wyattastic.
You know, there is nothing more infuriating than having a Jack Bauer Kill Counter that sits around collecting dust. Last week’s episode saw the JBKC take a sabbatical, and considering that this week included a Jack-led SWAT team assault, many of the guesses were high. However, some folks figured on the Wyatt jinx, and while I was working last night, I saw the grim news during my TiVo blogging. The Kill Counter took the damned night off again! No death, no destruction, no “Dammits!”
We do have a winner, though. Actually, we have a tie. Two readers were the closest to the sum total this week. Both Wisekrakr – “1, but I sure wish I’d miss this by a lot to the positive side.” – and Juan Paxety – “Hoping to get the counter spinning, I’ll guess only 1.” – guessed 1, which was one off of the actual (lame) total of zero.
Congratulations, kids. Your autographed Farhad Hassan death shrouds are on their way!
Here’s the post for tonight’s JBKC3.5 1am-2am. Enter your best guess in the comments. Steveegg won last week with a guess of zero.
Each week we will ask you to submit how many points you think Jack will get, the person closest wins. Submit how many points Jack Bauer will rack up in tonight’s episodes in the comments – we will publish the winner on Tuesday (3/2).
Kill Counter 3.5
3 kills = 3 points + 3 combo = 6 points
Bonus Points
“Dammit” = 1 point
“We don’t have enough time” = 1 point
“Cover me” = 1 point
“Drop the weapon” = 1 point
Use of a Jack Sack = 5 points
Shooting down a helicopter = 10 points
Mentioning Kim Bauer = 2 points
Apologizing for anything = -5 points
Crying = -5 points
Surrendering to bad guys = -10 points
Headbutting anyone = 20 points
Previous Jack Bauer Kill Counters
Season 5 Kill Counter
Season 6 Kill Counter
Redemption Kill Counter
Previous Season 8 Winners
Midnight-1am – Steveegg wins with nada: “Filler night – 0.”
Apparently, getting stabbed in the abdomen can’t stop Jack Bauer from killing the bad guys, but a little ol’ burst cyst can bring Kiefer Sutherland grinding to a halt.
The Hollywood Reporter says filming has stopped so Sutherland can undergo surgery. They claim the season won’t be disrupted, however.
I have to believe it’s relatively serious, as Kiefer’s always been pretty conscientious about not mucking with the filming schedule. Remember how he spent Christmas in jail just so his sentence wouldn’t interfere with the show’s schedule (not that it ended up mattering because the entire season was postponed due to the writer’s strike).
OK, would someone do a great photoshop job for this post, now? The Man? Adam? Bueller?
Come by starting at 8:30 p.m. for tonight’s ep!
Everyone’s reporting about it, so it must be true: There’s almost definitely going to be a 24 movie. (That’s why I called it “2,” get it? ‘Cos movies are usually – oh, nevermind.)
What does this mean for our beloved, yet beleaguered, show?
This is, in all likelihood, its final season. But then they might do a bunch of Bourne-type movies. Can you see it? Jack pushing a walker, chasing after some guy who’s about to get away, then whammo! Jack wings the walker at the guy, one of the legs puncturing right through his lung or heart or other vital organ?
You know you wanna see it.
Seriously, though, I can’t say I’d be too devastated if this ride came to an end. 24 gave us several good years. And even in its worst times, still gave us at least a couple hours’ of great television (c’mon, the first four hours of Season 6 were pretty good, with the nuke going off and all, and then we had the great Martha Logan kiwi toss/neck stab, which is always good for kicks).
But Season 6 was just insanely craptacular. And Season 7 had so much promise and then turned to something stupid. And so far in Season 8? Well, other than the pull-the-knife-out-of-his-gut-to-kill-a-bad-guy-with-it-from-across-the-room-then-shoot-two-other-guys-to-death scene, it’s been rather lackluster.
So, if you have some good ideas for movies, something that can be wrapped up in maybe a couple hours without cougar-related storylines or the traveling meth lab that is Dana Walsh’s life, go for it.
Just as long as Jack shouts a lot and kills people. Got it?
Here’s the post for tonight’s JBKC3.5 10pm-10pm. Enter your best guess in the comments. We sort of lost track of who had what in the first 56 hours because Arlo got his hands on the database we’re a bunch of slackers with the attention span of a typical CTU red shirt. We’ll have Chloe rebuild things shortly when Dana gets her hand out of her lap.
Since last season’s kill counter worked after a fashion, we’ll be running it again with only one modification since there will be a lot of Kim Bauer mentions. It will be a points based system that awards Jack Bauer points for doing good things like killing someone and negative points for doing bad things like saying “I’m sorry”.
Each week we will ask you to submit how many points you think Jack will get, the person closest wins. Submit how many points Jack Bauer will rack up in tonight’s episodes in the comments – we will publish the winner on Tuesday (1/26).
Here is the preliminary list of points. We may remove and/or add to this list as the season progresses, so send us any suggestions you may have.
Kill Counter 3.5
Killing Someone = 1 point
Killing a good guy = -1 point
Bonus Points
“Dammit” = 1 point
“We don’t have enough time” = 1 point
Shooting down a helicopter = 5 points
Apologizing for anything = -5 points
Crying = -5 points
Surrendering to bad guys = -10 points
Previous Jack Bauer Kill Counters
Season 5 Kill Counter
Season 6 Kill Counter
Redemption Kill Counter
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