Blogs.4Bauer

Seems like the idea of sending Jack to Africa ain’t totally dead yet.

Michael Ausiello over at TVGuide.com today reported that “producers are currently scouting locations in Africa to film scenes for this fall’s two-hour prequel movie.”

The earlier rumors were that Jack would be working on some sort of Habitat for Humanity-type project in Africa as a sort of way for him to forgive himself for all he’d done in his country’s service. Fox had ruled the storyline too expensive, and it might have also forced the show to break its trademark “real-time” format. I mean, as Jack was coming back to the U.S., how many times could you pan to him yelling “Dammit!” on an airplane?

Then the writer’s strike shut down production after eight episodes of the new and improved Season 7, the premiere got pushed back a year, blah, blah, blah. You know all that.

Then we got word of a two-hour movie for the fall that would bridge the two seasons and give fans a dose of Jack Bauer to tide them over.

And now, it appears, 24 will go to Africa after all.

Good? Bad? Somewhere in between? Just happy we’re getting two more hours of 24?

The TV squad recently published the Top 10 Awkward Moments on TV and 24 managed to make the list.

8. Jack Bauer shoots his best friend. In the “awkward tragedy” department, Jack Bauer is forced to shoot his former partner and best friend, Curtis, during season six of 24. Okay, so it’s his only option when Curtis threatens to thwart Jack’s efforts to stop a nuclear threat involving several suitcase bombs. Still, why would you have to shoot him in the neck, Jack? Couldn’t you have popped Curtis in the leg or shoulder — just enough to make him drop his hostage so you could get on with saving the world? (TV Squad)

While that was a wee bit awkward and deserves a top 10 in the list of most awkward TV moments, I happen to think it was not the most awkward event to happen on 24.  Hell, it wasn’t the most awkward moment on that season of 24.

How about when Jack set to torturing his own brother, leading to his death by Pappy Bauer? Then having his former sister-in-law (who has a child that looks and acts an awfully lot like Jack) put the moves on him.  She leaned in for a kiss….and gets denied.  Especially since Jack ends up with his ex, Audrey Raines,  who went to China to search for Jack and came back with a brain full of play-do and spends her days talking like Paula Abdul and blowing spit bubbles….awkward.

You may have heard about the new web site hulu.

Beginning today, consumers in the U.S. can go to Hulu.com to watch a large selection of hit TV shows, movies, clips and more in high-quality – anytime, for free.

[...]
On Hulu.com, consumers can enjoy one of the largest selections of legal, free videos from more than 50 top broadcast networks, cable networks, movie studios and web-centric content providers. Hulu’s library offers full-length episodes from more than 250 TV series – from current hits like The Simpsons, The Office and Prison Break to classics like Arrested Development, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Miami Vice.

Also included are the complete first five episodes of both season one and six, as well as 167 clips from 24

A two-hour “prequel” telemovie for 24 has been set for fall, The Hollywood Reporter has reported.

Woo-hoo! We don’t have to wait ’til fall.

It’s supposed to “bridge the gap” between the Season 6 crapapalooza and the potentially awesome Season 7 with Tony Almeida’s triumphant return (OK, maybe not so triumphant, given that he’s a bad, bad man, it seems).

The Reporter said that yesterday, the show’s producers “began securing the show’s core cast members for the film.”

More to ponder later. Have ideas for the movie? Leave ‘em in the comments.

The DVD set for Season 6, otherwise known as the Crapapalooza, comes out Dec. 4.

BuddyTV.com has a breakdown of all the special features, and reminds us that the first four hours were among the finest in 24’s history (and there were a few hours here and there that shone brightly, such as the famed Chloe drops a D-bomb episode).

Here’s what the box set will include:

• More than 25 minutes of deleted scenes
• A multitude of on-set featurettes
• Webcast Diaries
• Inside the Writer’s Room
• Deleted Ricky Gervais cameo (ok, that’s just weird)
• Mobisodes (those are cell-phone only webisode-type snippets. I think.)
• Season 7 Preview (this is the closest we’re going to come for a good, long time, folks)
• A variety of commentaries featuring Kiefer Sutherland, Howard Gordon, Manny Coto, Adoni Maropis, Jon Cassar, Joseph Hodges, Evan Katz, Carlo Rota, Scott Powell, Eric Balfour, Jayne Atkinson, Powers Boothe, Gregory Itzin, Jean Smart, James Morrison, Marisol Nichols, David Fury, Bryan Spicer, Sean Callery, Mary Lynn Rajskub and Joel Surnow.

Imagine, if you will, a world where Jack Bauer was not Kiefer Sutherland but rather, say, Ricky Schroeder.

That’d never happen, you scoff. Don’t deny it, I hear you scoffing!

Aha, but that’s the thing. It could have happened (Source.)

Joel Surnow said he “was keen to cast a more youthful actor as lead in the action series.”

But then he met Kiefer, who was a whopping 34 at the time (the Rickster was only 31), and it was all over.

We’d conceived Jack as a guy who had a 16-year-old daughter but was still youthful enough to appeal to the Fox audience, which is skewed towards ‘young.’

Phew! Dodged that bullet. So to speak.

Thanks to Fox for the photo.

Blogs4Bauer has ranked the hottest women of 24, now we’re looking at the people (and/or animals) we love to see Jack Bauer hate on. We rank em, Jack breaks ‘em and now we continue our listing of the Top 10 – 24 Villains of all time.

Name: Phillip Bauer
Season: Six
Occupation: Former CEO, BXJ Technologies
First seen:Day 6 11:00am-12:00pm
Last Seen: Day 6 5:00am-6:00am
Status: Deceased?

Name: Graem “Bluetooth” Bauer
Seasons: Five, Six
Occupation: CEO, BXJ Technologies
First seen: Day 5 1:00am-2:00am
Last Seen: Day 6 12:00pm-1:00pm
Status: Deceased

Tell me your jaw didn’t drop when you realized Bluetooth was none other than Graem Bauer, Jack’s brother. OK, you’re lying. Your jaw did too drop.

First off, how could someone so soft and bald be of the same genetic material as Jack? Second, Bluetooth was a big bad, behind President Logan’s betrayal of the American people. How could Jack, whose first priority always is doing what’s best for his country, whether it’s even remotely what’s best for him or his loved ones.

Of course, a family like Jack’s could be exactly why he does what he does.

It is believed that Graem was involved in Walt Cummings having put a hit out on Jack, and that wouldn’t be too shocking. Day 5, the events of which he was at least in part behind, involved sending Sentox VX nerve gas to Russian separtists, who planned to smuggle it to Russia. But it was to be booby trapped, blowing up on the separatists, but showing there were WMDs in central Asia, making a better case for American intervention in the region.

And Graem ordered Logan to shoot down Flight 520 after he learned Jack was on board. He also ordered Logan to “take care of” his wife, Martha, and Agent Aaron Pierce. He also strongly suggested to Logan that he commit suicide when it appeared the plot would be revealed. In the end, he let the Chinese know Jack was still alive so they could kidnap and torture him.

Graem never was revealed to be behind the Day 5 shenanigans, clearing the way for Dmitri Gredenko to supply suitcase nukes to BXJ Technologies (the Bauer family company) and setting up Day 6.

Jack discovers in Day 6 that the suitcase nuke that went off in Valencia may have been at least tangentially connected to his father. He heads to Graem’s house to investigate. Graem, meanwhile, finds out Jack’s back in LA and opines that they should’ve just killed Jack when they had the chance.

This is when Jack tries to strangle him with an electrical cord. Graem’s also not as torture-proof as Jack and lets it spill that BXJ had hired the guy (Darren McCarthy) who ended up stealing the nukes from BXJ and sold them to the terrorists. Daddy Bauer is over at McCarthy’s office to erase any connection between them.

Graem and Phillip set up a fake Graem takeover of BXJ, with Graem ordering the guards to take Jack and Phillip into custody; CTU storms Graem’s house and arrests him while Jack and Phillip escape their guards and kill them. Rick Burke sets up an “interrogation” of Graem. Weasel boy ends up confessing to being involved in the murders of David Palmer, Michelle Dessler and Tony Almeida (not!).

Just before they’re about to take Graem to CTU, Phillip gets a moment alone with him. He congratulates Graem for keeping quiet about his involvement, then kills him. Thanks, Dad!

Over at CTU, Phillip does all sorts of nefarious things, such as ordering Gredenko killed. When he realizes his daughter-in-law Marilyn is going to try to help Jack find Gredenko, he asks to take Josh home with him, then calls Marilyn and tells her he killed Graem and will kill Josh, too, if she doesn’t lie to Jack.

The house Jack’s led to is booby-trapped and his entire TAC team is killed except him; Milo manages to spirit Marilyn away.

Phillip threatens Josh when Josh figures out grampa’s not such a nice guy.

No one’s life is worth the destruction of everything I’ve built.

Jack offers his life in exchange for Josh’s and Papa Bauer takes the deal. Papa prepares to kill Jack, then they have a heart to heart, kind of, and Phillip leaves while Jack apologizes for being a disappointment to him. He leaves behind a PDA with a phone number on it. Jack calls it. Charles Logan answers and says he can lead Jack to Gredenko.

Phillip finds a way to get Chinese mercernaries into CTU so they can re-kidnap Josh (gramps really does love him) in exchange for a repaired FB sub-circuit board from one of the nukes.

Jack, Nadia and Morris (Morris?!) manage to overpower the Chinese, though they’d already spirited Josh outta there.

Phillip tells Josh he wants to take him away from “this ungrateful country” and go to China. (Yeah, because that nation is so grateful to its citizens.)

A couple hours and one blown up oil platform later, Doyle’s been blinded, Josh has been rescued and Bill Buchanan has a Bill Sack to complement Jack’s Jack Sack.

Is Josh Jack’s son? Is Josh Phillip’s son? Is Josh Graem’s son? Who the hell knows? By the end of Season 6 we didn’t even care anymore, though the producers have admitted that they had planned to reveal Phillip as his dad, but then thought that a bit too icky. (They were right, but wrong at the same time.)

Producers claim that Phillip died in the oil rig explosion, but there was a boat nearby and if Tony can come back from being pretty much certainly dead (we saw Jack crying while holding Tony’s dead body!!), then Phillip can certainly be alive considering we didn’t even see him die.

Phillip’s Final Rankings (out of 10)
Meanness: 10
Coolness: 7
Reign of Terror: 8
Sexiness: 1
Total Points: 26
Graem’s Final Rankings (out of 10)
Meanness: 10
Coolness: 3
Reign of Terror: 6
Sexiness: 1
Total Points: 20

That’s what I’m going to do after posting this item. You guys are going to go apeshit.

Former President Bill Clinton opposes torture, but if Jack Bauer were real and, say, shot someone in the kneecap to get the correct information, that might be OK would still be bad.

So he said on Meet the Press this weekend.

This is the conundrum that faces many in 24’s fanbase: Intense love of Jack Bauer and everything 24, but an extreme distaste for the tactics Jack uses if it were happening in real life.

The mitigating factor is that Jack always knows when he’s stepped over the line. And he’s prepared to accept the consequences.

At the start of Season 6 (otherwise known as the Crapapalooza, but the first four hours were astoundingly good), he was brought back from China, where he’d been held for 2 years without speaking or giving up any secrets, solely to be turned over to the terrorists in exchange for them stopping their bombings.

Did he object? No. He had a quick shave and a haircut (gave them to himself, thankyouverymuch) and changed his clothing and got in the van. Sure, he did end up escaping, but, really, only after it was clear that his torture and death was not going to save a single American life.

Clinton had once accepted the idea that perhaps there could be a legal authority to torture in those extraordinarily rare “ticking time bomb” scenarios the show so often depicts. He now believes that’s a bad idea:

If you have any kind of a formal exception, people just drive a truck through it, and they’ll say, ‘Well, I thought it was covered by the exception.’ … When Bauer goes out there on his own and is prepared to live with the consequences, it always seems to work better.

(Adapted from Remote Access.)

Sorry for the all caps, but that’s just about how I feel. Found it out just this morning. Check out the full report here.

Basically, Howard Gordon admits that with no ticking clock to announce Tony’s demise, the door was always open for his return.

Season 7 is not going to be a repeat of the Crapapalooza. We who kept the faith are about to be rewarded. Thoughts, comments?

By the way, has anyone told Tony that Michelle is now a chaplain on ER?

And I’m sorry, I don’t usually squeal like a little girl, but THIS IS FREAKIN’ AWESOME.

NOTE: If you want to see the whole press release, check it out here.

The Hollywood Reporter reports on two more additions to the cast — one for sure, the other’s in negotiations.

Annie Wersching is a lock. She’ll be an FBI agent squaring off against Jack. She’s being named as the “major new female lead.” Maybe she’ll finally get Jack’s mind off Audrey. (Please!)

Bob Gunton is the other name being dropped. He played SecDef Ethan Kanin in four episodes last season. In other words, he’s the guy who succeeded the best SecDef ever, James Heller. He’s also the guy who made Karen fire Bill. He’s in negotiations to become a regular this season.

Wersching’s claim to fame is as a star of General Hospital, playing Amelia Joffe. She’s also been in eps of Supernatural, Company Man, Boston Legal, Cold Case and lots of stuff like that. Gunton’s a character actor who’s been in tons of stuff.

If this entry sounds rushed, it was. I wanted to make sure to post it before bRight caught wind of it.

You’ve watched the show. You’ve read the blog. Now it’s time to listen to Radio4Bauer. But you don’t have to just listen. You can call in and contribute your priceless insights (OK, we’re expecting more snark than insight, but you get the idea).

The call in number is: (646) 716-8404

We light the fuse on this stick of dynamite at 6:30pm eastern time today. Tell your friends!

Today’s topic: Crapapalooza — AKA: Season 6 and whatever else we feel like talking about. Click on the Radio4Baur image to listen live.

UPDATE: The show went off with all the perfection of a day in the life of Jack Bauer. Well, I mean there weren’t any terrorists or nukes or anything, just a 3 year old telling me “be quiet” and a dog barking at who knows what. I’ve added the embedded version of the show at the top of the page. It’s right next to the Wiki link. Enjoy. See you next show.

Wyatt already mentioned that as part of 4bauer.com we’ve taken the first steps to start radio4bauer. The show will be hosted by BlogTalkRadio.

During the new season the plan is to do a recap of the previous night’s episode each Tuesday. Naturally it will be the reverent, respectful, classy presentation that you’ve come to expect from Blogs4Bauer.

But before we get to that, there’s season six to dissect (read: rip a new one). Now we’re pretty sure where our newest member stands (Crapapalooza does roll off the tongue, doesn’t it?), but I’m sure the rest of the Usual Gang of Idiots will have something to say as well. Once we’ve done our worst there we’ll still have plenty of time to engage in some meaningless speculation about season 7. We are good at that.

The question is, when should we light this firecracker? This weekend? What night, what time? We’re dealing with a lot of shit.

You can help us out with your suggestions in the comments or at Forums4Bauer.

This gets filed under the heading of, “Um, what?”

When cornered (literally, according to TVGuide.com) by reporters the other day, Kiefer said he was proud of the Season that shall be known henceforth as the Crapapalooza.

To be exact, he said this:

“I felt that [Season 6] was no different than any other season. Every season we’ve had our strengths and every season we’ve confronted some bumps and hiccups. I felt that last year, the first four episodes were probably the best four we had ever done, and we certainly closed the show really well. We hit some rough roads around Episodes 13 and 14 [but] it’s a difficult show to write so we’re accustomed to running into things that we don’t agree on, but by virtue of the schedule, we have to plow ahead. But I was very proud of our last season.”

I (as would most) agree with him on the first four episodes (see my initial thoughts on Hours 1-2 here and Hours 3-4 here (wow, I’ve come a long blogging way).

But I’ve gotta think they filmed a different ending to the season and Kiefer didn’t know they used the crappy one when they broadcast it.

Anyhow, Africa is not totally off the table, apparently.

Again, Kiefer:

“We will maintain the Africa story line, but I think it was very difficult to shoot a television show on two, potentially three continents. They found a better way to tell the story from this country’s perspective.”

At least they gave up on the thought of pretending that Valencia (oh, wait, that’s been nuked) is the Ivory Coast (or whatever African nation they’re talking about; no one’s said anything other than “Africa,” as if it’s like, say, Staten Island).

That’s right, folks, RFTR is back in action.

And I promise this time I won’t leave halfway through to be replaced by the person whose turn I stole. We’ll get started in just about 20 minutes.

Until then, here’s a little gift from me to you:

And here we go.

I didn’t watch Drive yet tonight, so no one ruin anything in the comments. Let’s just leave it at: last night’s episodes rocked.

11:00 PM – He needs to get to a hospital? The only reason jack would go into a hospital is if there was a terrorist there he needed to torture.

11:02 – Now the Chinese want the nukes. Didn’t they see The Departed? Jack’s just going to give them fakes.

And they want access to all Russian defense technology? Isn’t that just, like, an underpaid guy and some rusty hardware?

11:04 – No she’s not alright, she’s still got a penis nose!

11:06 – So the U.S. military objected this season to Jack’s use of torture. Think they’ll object to him killing a few U.S. soldiers?

11:08 – Oh no, Jack’s talking to Chloe in secret. That’s never good news.

11:09 – Chloe’s worried about an international incident? Since when?

Ads – Snowboarders have AmEx cards now? What happened to exclusivity?

11:15 – I’m pretty sure that gash on the President’s face would have been bandaged and oozing all kinds of nasty crap.

11:17 – “How dare you?”??? Is he really surprised that Palmer wants his resignation? “Sorry I tried to have you declared mentally incompetent. Still friends?”

11:19 – All Chloe has to do is tell him that she did it. Spouses can’t testify against each other, right? Are they married, or am I misremembering that?

11:21 – Here we go, another CTU employee doubting Jack. That always works well, right? I know, let’s contain Jack with a perimeter.

11:22 – She’s totally not going to tell Chiggy.

11:23 – Only Jack Bauer could turn a heavily-guarded warehouse into his own personal jungle gym. And the helicopter’s ETA is 15 minutes? If Jack needed it, it would have been there yesterday.

11:24 – Remind me the next time I need a tank to claim I’m a federal agent, never flash any credentials, and insist that it’s under Presidential order.

11:25 – Ooh. That’ll cause a headache. M-16s do not feel good against the side of the head.

Ads – Anyone out there? The comments seem rather quiet tonight. Am I that boring?

If I’m not entertaining you enough, then maybe you should read a more interesting blog instead.

11:29 – Jack’s chained. Time for some vampire action. “I had to subdue him,” um, no, you had a soldier do it. Pussy.

11:32 – If it’s so easy for Jack to get to the President, why didn’t he ask for his help before trying to go rogue? Also, I’ll say it again, why do people doubt Jack so often?

11:33 – A C-4 Charge will take out anything within 30 feet? Um, doesn’t that depend upon the amount of C-4?

Ads – Jack had better start shooting people soon. I’m falling asleep over here.

11:39 – Ooooooh. Doyle’s giving Jack orders now. Maybe if he acted a bit less like a little bitch about the whole thing he’d seem a little more intimidating. That being said, Jack just asked him to partner up—which means he’s going to be dead sometime in the next few hours.

11:42 – Of course she’ll hold it over his head. She’s a woman. She screws up, and it’s his fault. This is network TV, people, men are evil. Don’t forget it.

11:43 – He has half an hour? Jeez, he could be in Milwaukee in half an hour.

11:44 – Doyle doesn’t mix relationships with his job, but I bet he’d boink Nadia if given the chance.

11:45 – This VP’s chief of staff is way hotter than Scooter Libby. But also not any better of a liar.

The VP is no less attracted to her than Cheney is to Scooter, though.

11:46 – “Their dedication has helped bring this crisis to an end… and now I’m going to help in starting up another one right out of a Tom Clancy novel.” Oh dear.

The worst has passed–until the Chinese get a hold of Russian technology.

11:47 – President is about to take a spill on live TV. Awesome. Totally stroking out.

Ads – By the way, in honor of Imus, I’m liveblogging in a cowboy hat.

11:52 – You mean they don’t have an MRI in the White House?

“There’s no denying that this is a great tragedy for the President—and f-ing sweet for me!”

11:53 – This president has got to trust Jack, right? No, of course not. No one does.

11:54 – “Even Jack Bauer can’t guarantee that outcome”? Has Jack Bauer ever let anyone down? Well, okay, his wife—but Nina was hotter anyway!

11:58 – “I shot a friend of mine today because I had to. I would shoot you just for the fun of it. I haven’t gotten ass in like 2 years, and if I set Audrey free, I’m sure to get laid. So get out of my way.”

11:59 – Jack goes against the White House all the time. Don’t tell him what he can’t do.

Well, as many of you know, I have followed in The Man’s footsteps and retired from political blogging. However, this does not mean you’ve gotten rid of me here at Blogs4Bauer. If anything, I should have even more time than ever to fill your days with gratuitous Kim Bauer references.

So I’ll be taking the liveblogging reins tonight. I’ll see you in about 20 minutes!

Here we go!

9:00 PM – I really hope we get lots of rainman action this week. That was a BRILLIANT idea by the 24 writers. Almost as brilliant as the idiot from France who believed that we had Manny’s email address and would publish it openly.

Roosevelt governed fine from a wheelchair? Didn’t they see Pearl Harbor? He had to stand up in order to get anyone to be impressed.

9:01 – The nuclear strike against Fayed’s country? Seriously, they couldn’t make something up like Qumar on the West Wing?

9:04 – Because the 25th amendment says the Cabinet decides, they can’t ask what a doctor would say? That’s pretty shoddy constitutional law…

9:08 – “The president must be strong enough in body and mind to defend this country.” I’d have LOVED to see Reagan defend this country, you know, single-handedly.

Ads – It’s official: I bogarted Tyler D.’s night to liveblog. So I’m handing over the reigns—the rest of this post will be his.

—-TYLER’S POST—-

9:23 – Is Milo a moron or what? Wait, spoons (almost) redeems himself.

9:26 – Nuclear straws? I WANT ANOTHER NUKE!!! :/ NO MORE TALK!!

9:28 – HOLY CRAP!!! They better not start writing in complete silence with a frackin timer on the screen.

9:32 – Affidavits!?!?! Any more references to writing and I’m out. This is pathetic.

9:34 – More paper? I just went emo and sliced my wrists wide open….wide open.

You know what….

hmmm…

9:45 – Blood trail? Is Jack a blood-hound now?

9:50 – I wish Jack would scream “Boom Headshot!” just once when he wastes somebody. That would make my day.

9:54 – “Boris the Blade” is fish food? Now that is tragic.

9:56 – Well, I got my nuke “launch”. Did this episode seem like I watching The Office? Just not as… anything really?