While Grandpa Oscar is in the bathroom again, going poopy (I bet he does that a whole bunch of times a day), I wanted to tell you why Jack is the bestest grampa in the whole wide world.
He doesn’t even look like a grandpa. I mean, he never EVER goes to the bathroom, unlike this Oscar guy, who I think has a cot in there.
Besides, if Jack’s such a bad influence, how come he’s saved the world like, a zillion times already?
I like Grampa Jack because we don’t play peek-a-boo or any other stupid baby games. We play “Interrogation” and “WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?”
One time, we played “Nuclear Meltdown” and I got to put my Barbie Townhouse in the oven! I bet Grandpa Oscar doesn’t do cool stuff like that with his granddaughter. She’s gonna turn out to be a wimp.
Kim and “daddy” are moving to California with me, and Jack is supposed to move with us, but I think he has to save the world first.
What have you saved, Grandpa Oscar, besides 50 cents at the supermarket with a coupon?
When Jack hurts somebody, it’s always for a good cause. He just wants to make sure my mommy and I grow up in a safe world.
So Be Quiet, Grandpa Oscar. I would say Shut Up, but my mommy taught me that’s not a nice thing to say, especially to an old person.