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At the end of last night’s episode, just before Ernie Anastos previewed what would be on the 10pm news, The Jack Sack helped coin a new word that will become part of 24 lexicon forever.

In honor of his (and Wyatt’s) contribution, I’ve submitted “Wyattastic” to Urban Dictionary where millions of people looking for crude sexual innuendo will instead be taught about Wyatt’s penchant for liveblogging episodes of 24 where even Jack Bauer looks bored.

For example, as TJS stated, last night’s episode was “Wyattastic”.

Submit your own examples of using this new word in the comments.

Update: Urban Dictionary published an entry for Wyattastic.

Everyone’s reporting about it, so it must be true: There’s almost definitely going to be a 24 movie. (That’s why I called it “2,” get it? ‘Cos movies are usually – oh, nevermind.)

What does this mean for our beloved, yet beleaguered, show?

This is, in all likelihood, its final season. But then they might do a bunch of Bourne-type movies. Can you see it? Jack pushing a walker, chasing after some guy who’s about to get away, then whammo! Jack wings the walker at the guy, one of the legs puncturing right through his lung or heart or other vital organ?

You know you wanna see it.

Seriously, though, I can’t say I’d be too devastated if this ride came to an end. 24 gave us several good years. And even in its worst times, still gave us at least a couple hours’ of great television (c’mon, the first four hours of Season 6 were pretty good, with the nuke going off and all, and then we had the great Martha Logan kiwi toss/neck stab, which is always good for kicks).

But Season 6 was just insanely craptacular. And Season 7 had so much promise and then turned to something stupid. And so far in Season 8? Well, other than the pull-the-knife-out-of-his-gut-to-kill-a-bad-guy-with-it-from-across-the-room-then-shoot-two-other-guys-to-death scene, it’s been rather lackluster.

So, if you have some good ideas for movies, something that can be wrapped up in maybe a couple hours without cougar-related storylines or the traveling meth lab that is Dana Walsh’s life, go for it.

Just as long as Jack shouts a lot and kills people. Got it?

Gotta love 24 in German:

Just a few things that have been floating around my cloud cuckoo mind:

1. Is there a more annoying character on 24 this season than Dana Walsh? This broad is fast approaching Kim Bauer levels. Dude, tell your new boyfriend to torture your old boyfriend, and be done with it!

(Of course, I may hate her because I am still bent at how BSG went from great to teh suck.)

2. Speaking of annoying, while I think Red Hot is smoking hot, I do have a bone to pick with her. Heh, heh, “bone.” What kind of dolt decides it’s a good idea to take a shower a few feet from a man who wants to rape her? Hello??!!!

3. Can we just do away with the Jack Bauer Kill Counter? I don’t like this new, p.c. Jack Bauer at all. How many people has he killed so far this season? Three? Four? Stop it. Forget “injuring” evil Russians with CTU sniper fire and start stabbing people in the neck with a swizzle stick already!

Punxsutawney Phil, the infamous weather predicting rodent, emerged from his hole on Tuesday and saw Jack Bauer’s shadow signaling at least 18 more weeks of terrorists getting their ass kicked and the end of winter.

Haven’t people learned by now that it’s not smart to fool with Jack? Granted, Keifer, not so much.

Prosecutors say Michael Wayne Carr of Linden had agreements to buy steers in Mexico for his customers and sell them for profit in the United States. Carr allegedly took $869,000 from Sutherland, star of the Fox TV show “24,” and $177,000 from a New Mexico couple.

This may just be a publicity stunt to give us a glimpse at the rest of Season 8. It turns out that the Russians are really working for Mexican cattle rustlers.

The upside is that after the interrogation — steak for everyone!

Counterpoint: Jack is the best grampa ever!
By: Teri Bauer (the one who’s alive)

While Grandpa Oscar is in the bathroom again, going poopy (I bet he does that a whole bunch of times a day), I wanted to tell you why Jack is the bestest grampa in the whole wide world.

He doesn’t even look like a grandpa. I mean, he never EVER goes to the bathroom, unlike this Oscar guy, who I think has a cot in there.

Besides, if Jack’s such a bad influence, how come he’s saved the world like, a zillion times already?

I like Grampa Jack because we don’t play peek-a-boo or any other stupid baby games. We play “Interrogation” and “WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?”

One time, we played “Nuclear Meltdown” and I got to put my Barbie Townhouse in the oven! I bet Grandpa Oscar doesn’t do cool stuff like that with his granddaughter. She’s gonna turn out to be a wimp.

Kim and “daddy” are moving to California with me, and Jack is supposed to move with us, but I think he has to save the world first.

What have you saved, Grandpa Oscar, besides 50 cents at the supermarket with a coupon?

When Jack hurts somebody, it’s always for a good cause. He just wants to make sure my mommy and I grow up in a safe world.

So Be Quiet, Grandpa Oscar. I would say Shut Up, but my mommy taught me that’s not a nice thing to say, especially to an old person.

That’ll teach the fat guy.

I have some good news and some bad news.

First, the bad news.  This will probably the last season for our favorite show, you know….24

Now for the good news.  There will be no Jack Bauer-Audrey Raines hook-up (Jadrey is what we call the relationship in celebrity-hookup terms).

Exec producer Evan Katz tells me that a series-ending story has been hatched should 24 clock out for good next May—and it doesn’t involve an Audrey-Jack reunion.

“Some of the things we’re doing this season preclude [her returning],” he says. “So I think not. She was in bad shape the last time we saw her.” (Source)

That being said, this site has been known to throw around some rumors to see what sticks.  With Audrey still blowing spit bubbles and talking to her carpet, Jack Bauer needs a new love interest.

Why not go Brokeback?  With our inside sources, I can confirm the new relationship for Jack Bauer will be…. “CurBauer”.  Curtis Manning, who I bet you thought was killed when Jack shot him in the neck to save the terrorist Assad.  Nope, Edgar Stiles got a silent clock, however Curtis did not meaning he’s alive and wants Jack, literally.

Curtis: “You hurt me real bad Jack”

Jack: “Dammit Curtis, I had to save Assad.  I had no choice”

Curtis: “We all have choices Jack, I choose you”

The new relationship should secure at least one Grammy, an Emmy and a few Sundance awards.

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Janis “Honey” Gold gets under everyone’s nerves, even a guy dying from Mad Cow disease cannot stand her.

When you are done watching that, watch it again. Then submit your 24 posts to the weekly Carnival of Bauer!!!

Just when you thought we were blessed with a Kim Bauer fix without some silly sideplot.   She didn’t drag soulman (C. Thomas Howell) to the office or get kidnapped.  Nope, this time she made Jack Bauer a grandparent.  Really, Jack Bauer is a grandpa!  I have a grandpa, he served in WW2 – she has a Grandpa and he saves the world in 24-hour increments.

Imagine all the nightime stories Grandpa Baer can read to Kim Bauer Jr.?  

“Tell me the story about the time you landed an airplane on the LA Freeway grampa Bauer”

“Gramdpa Bauer says forcing a bad guy to swallow a towel is more effective than hooking up car batteries to bad guys junk in most cases”

Then the questions will come up about where Grandma is and who’s the red-haired bimbo hanging out with grandpa.  Then baby Bauer will be told that great-grandpa was a bad guy and is most likely in hell with Uncle Graem.  

God help her if she ever googles “Jack Bauer”.  

Babies aren't supposed to have stuffed cougars in their crib

1. Moooooo
2. Kim, the butt chin is from your mother’s side of the family, along with the lack of basic survival skills.
3. Kim, just tell me where I can find this RFTR character and I will deal with him my own…painful way. 
4. So basically the previews make it appear that you’re back but actually you just need to cry a bit and leave.  You should be done by lunch.
5. Kim, I don’t know how to tell you this…but I’m not really dying.  The Chinese forced me to watch Captivity and if I could survive that, I can pretty much survive anything.

Got other possible captions? Post them in the comments.

Make sure to submit your 24-related posts to The Carnival of Bauer!!!