Blogs.4Bauer

That’s what Dennis Haysbert says, anyway.

Now, look. I know President Palmer (David, not Wayne) is a beloved figure in these here parts, and Obama’s, well, not…

But after I got past the thought that Haysbert has a really healthy ego, I thought he might have a point.

Palmer was beloved by looselugnut libs and right-wing nutjobs alike. He always had the day’s crisis to resolve and so never really expounded on his beliefs about tax breaks, social services or foreign policy (beyond wanting to make sure he was about to bomb the crap out of the correct unnamed nation, which I think pretty much everyone can agree is probably the right course). We have no idea what kind of policies he worked on as commander-in-chief.  He was too busy trying to stay alive or keep the nation from blowing up.

But all that aside, this country’s never had a black presidential candidate who actually stood a reasonable chance of being a major-party nominee, never mind of perhaps even being elected to the highest office.

Is that because seeing virtual black presidents such as Palmer or, maybe, Morgan Freeman in Deep Impact, has made people a little more color-blind? Huh. I dunno, but maybe Haysbert’s not so completely ego-centric?

I can just imagine the questions:

If Jack Bauer shoots someone in the knee but they’re already unconscious, does it still hurt?

If Chloe hacks into the DOD network to download SecDef Heller’s recent Amazon.com purchases so Jack can figure out what to buy him for Christmas, is it still illegal?

If Dennis Haysbert is playing an “elite counterterrorist” operative on CBS’ The Unit, does that mean that former President David Palmer can never rise from the dead on 24 on Fox?

If Kiefer Sutherland is serving time for drunk driving, does Jack Bauer now have a police record? Will he lose his top-secret clearance?

What the hell am I talking about?

Three philosophy professors from Tyndale University College and Seminary in Toronto, Canada, have edited a book called “24 and Philosophy: The World According to Jack.”

No, really.

It’ll be released tomorrow (Friday) in Toronto.

Dammit! What about Barnes & Noble? OK, it’s on Amazon.

Profs. Jennifer Hart Weed, Ronald Weed and Richard Davis put together this “witty but philosophical exploration of the methods and motivations used by Jack Bauer and other characters in the highly charged television drama.” They’re the three-person philosophy department at Tyndale and all are fans of the show. They recruited fans from around the world to write essays for the book.

A press release on the book (which is dedicated to Edgar! yay!) gives a taste:

‘What would Jack Bauer do?’ We find ourselves asking ourselves this question more and more often. In fact, it’s the title of one of the chapters. Most of us face moral dilemmas that have the same structure as the ones Jack confronts. Consequently, how he handles them is not only interesting, but could even be helpful in determining how we might handle some dilemmas of our own.

Such as?

• If radical terrorists from an unnamed country blow up a nuke outside of Los Angeles, which farmer’s market is the best one to shop at? What about liquor stores? Which ones will stay open?

• If my girlfriend is captured by the Chinese while searching for me and her brain is scrambled and she becomes even more of an idiot than she already was, is there something wrong with me if I still love her? (Jack, honey, you can do soooo much better, please. Two words: Kate Warner.)

• If I lose my key card for work, maybe, say, because my sister’s a junkie, do I report it immediately or try to get it back covertly?

Here‘s a podcast of an interview Jennifer Weed did with a radio station in Connecticut.

These are my philosophical questions:

Is a book like this legit or just another example of how crass commercialism has crept into every single freakin’ aspect of our lives, even those of us in the seminary? (Added Friday 12/21: I was just re-reading this sentence and I just want to clarify — I am not, nor have I ever been, in the seminary. Just wanted to clear up that confusion.)

And, how does a book have a Facebook page?

Methinks Jennifer Hart Weed may have a wee bit of a crush on our dear Jack, too:

Service of the ideal is constant: a belief in protecting the innocent. We care about Jack. We like him. We believe in him. I would definitely sit down and have a beer with Jack Bauer because there are so few people left who believe in ideals anymore. To get somebody whose beliefs go beyond themselves – that’s somebody I want to have a beer with.

That’s very nice and all, Dr. Weed, but don’t tell Jack you want to get “bombed” with him. You’re liable to find yourself up against a wall, your neck firmly in Jack’s grip. And don’t drive with him after you’ve finished drinking, either. He doesn’t have a very good record when it comes to driving drunk.

Partially cross-posted on Remote Access.