Blogs.4Bauer Nicknames – Season 8

Bitchy O’Bouffant – Justice Department lawyer Kristin Smith, whose irascible nature and wind tunnel-tested hairdo earns her this nickname.

Chico Jr. – CTU Agent Cole Ortiz, because he’s played by Freddie Prinze Jr., son of Freddie Prinze, who played Chico on “Chico and the Man” waaaaaaay back in the day. You know, in the ’70s.

Cougar Bait – Kim Bauer, because of the notorious Season 2 incident in which she was menaced by a cougar.

Hairbib Schwartzman – Islamic Republic President Omar Hassan’s brother, who wants him dead. Because he bears an amazing resemblance to Jason Schwartzman and has REALLY bad hair (in a totally different way than Jason Schwartzman’s hair is bad).

Herc- The NYC cop who beats up Jack Bauer in Hour 3, because he’s played by the guy who played Herc on The Wire.

Potato Face – Chloe O’Brien/Mary Lynn Rajskub picked up the nickname “Potato Face” from Television Without Pity. (Though it seems overly harsh; we love Chloe and she now does occasionally smile.)

President Cankles – President Allison Taylor. Do you really have to ask? What, are you new here?

President Elvis – President Omar Hassan. His coif is reminiscent of later Elvis and.or Wayne Newton.

Red Hot – Former FBI agent Renee Walker because her hair is red and she’s, well, hot.

SG1 – Tarin Faroush, President Omar Hassan’s number one security guard. He is so-named because SG1 is easier than saying – and writing – Tarin Faroush.

Starbuck – CTU Analyst Dana Walsh, because she’s played by Katee Sackhoff, who was Starbuck on the “re-imagining” of “Battlestar Galactica.”

The GEICO Caveman – Kevin Wade’s thug friend Nick, whose furry face reminds me of the guys who invented fire.

The Pimply-Faced Teen – Red Shirt “Commando” Agent Owen, whose baby face reminds us of the Pimply-Faced Teen from The Simpsons.

The White Trash Twins – Kevin Wade and Nick, his partner in crime. This one is obvious, since the duo have more white trash in them than an episode of Jerry Springer.

Weasly McChiefofstaff – White House Chief of Staff Rob Weiss, a weasel in every sense of the word.