Meanwhile, Jason Pillar is barking orders to everyone at CTU, and Chloe is becoming Frowny McSmirkface. She goes to Arlo with her concerns, and Arlo (as usual) goes into full puss-aah mode.
Jack arrives at Mr. Blond’s and explains his motivations for the kill-fest. Motivations that revolve around Agent RedHot. Revenge is on his mind, and he does not plan to serve it cold. Blond gives Jack the ID of RedHot’s shooter, and Jack searches for him through . . . Meredith Reed? Good Lord, I thought she was long gone. Jack goes Deep Throat with Reed (heh) and says he can give her the video evidence. I don’t trust the bitch.
Chico, Jr arrives at CTU and gets grilled by Jason Pillar. Chico, for his part, tells Pillar to go frak himself. I guess he retrieved his balls when Starbuck was aired out.
12:18pm-12:26pm – Maury Povovich and Charles Logan are listening to Bauer’s call to Reed. Logan is not amused, but manages a smirk when Jason tells him that they plan to eliminate Jack. Chloe calls over Arlo and again makes her case to the techno-idiot. Amazingly, it gets through the first few layers of Arlo’s skull. It’s a Christmas miracle! Chloe goes into holding to see Cole, and finds out his balls are gone again. Chico is mourning Starbuck for some reason, but finally relents and tells Frowny that Jack has a contact in the city. Wow, great intel there, Chico. (Idiot.)
Logan calls Pavel the Assassin and demands an update. Jack and Meredith have not arrived yet, but Logan gives Pavel the green light to take them both out. That can’t be good . . . for Pavel.
12:30pm-12:36pm – President Cankles and Hottie Hassan are continuing peace talk deliberations when Cankles receives a visit from Logan. Logan claims that Bauer has the evidence and is about to be captured. As a result, Logan wants his pat on the back for all of the terrific work he has done. Cankles grudgingly agrees.
Reed arrives at the meet with Bauer and all eyes are on her. Jack arrives and starts to elude the spotters. Pavel eyes him up, and BAM! Mr. Blonde puts a gun to Pavel’s head. Jack grabs Meredith and gets her to safety. The spotters move in on Jack . . . only to get taken out. Jack puts four spotters down, and back at CTU, Jason’s bimbo asks, “What the Hell just happened?”
JACK F**KING BAUER JUST HAPPENED, LADY!
Mr. Blond has Pavel at gunpoint, and the four of them leave the meet unscathed.
12:40pm-12:47pm – Logan is picking out power ties when Jason calls. Pavel’s team? Dead. Pavel? Captured. Logan? Soiled pants. Logan is having a freak out, and I am doing everything I can to type while giggling. Logan calms down long enough to tell Jason to find and destroy Bauer.
Chloe and Arlo are searching for Mr. Blond, and Jack is leading Blond, Meredith, and Pavel to hiss underground lair. Really, Jack, while you’re there you should try and touch the goodies. Just sayin’. Meredith freaks out because she feels “used.” Jack doesn’t seem to mind, and he gives Meredith the evidence. And now, on to Pavel. This is going to be good.
Jack ties Pavel up and tells him that RedHot was killed with a rifle just like Pavel’s. Pavel’s response? “Go to Hell.” Bad move . . . and commercial.
12:51pm-1:00pm – Viewer Discretion Advised warning at the end of the commercial break. Sweet! Meredith is viewing the evidence while Jack is having intense negotiations with Pavel. Intense negotiations include pliers to the chest. The ultimate titty twister. Pavel calls RedHot a bitch, and Jack goes nuts. Good for him.
Jason arrives at the shooting scene and cries jurisdiction. He also tells the NYPD that they are looking for Jack Bauer – and that they should shoot on sight.
Jack returns to a bloody Pavel and pulls lout a knife. He gives him a few jabs with the knife but Pavel is holding strong. Dumb. Jack squirts what looks like lighter fluid into Pavel’s wounds. I’ll bet that’ll leave a mark. OH SNAP, JACK IS GOING FOR THE BLOWTORCH!!!
And we have a burning sensation!!! And more burning!!!
Jack goes for Pavel’s cellphone but it doesn’t have the sim card. Jack, realizing Pavel swallowed it, guts him with the knife and pulls the card out of his stomach. That’s hard core, my friends!
Jack inserts the card into the phone and dials the last number. It reaches Logan’s voice mail. Damn.
Aaaaand . . . clock!
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