BREAKING NEWS: FOX to Cancel 24

The barely literate writers of Variety report that FOX will announce this season as the end of 24 in the next day or so. No, I am not serious about the writers of Variety being barely literate, I just needed to lash out at someone. Maybe 24 Executive Producer Brannon Braga is to blame? He helped drag Star Trek into the gutter with his amateur bullshit. Anyway, I digress. 24 has 13 episodes left forever.

Former Senator/Current Cad John Edwards (N.C.) Eagerly Awaits “24″ Premiere

Historical footnote John Edwards was recently quoted as saying he was “really looking forward to the exciting return of Jack Bauer this Sunday.” Edwards, a one-term Senator who made millions suing the pants off of people, and causing insurance premiums and malpractice insurance rates to skyrocket in the once-quiet state of North Carolina, insisted that America really needs to focus on Jack Bauer this week.

This is also the same week that has seen the release of “GAME CHANGE” an “insider” look into the 2008 campaign for President, which gives an in-depth look at Edwards’ affair with New Age-flake/prostitute/filmmaker Reille Hunter. With all of this renewed attention on Edwards’ cheating behind the back of his cancer-suffering wife, the former VP-nominee insists that there are two Americas, one that worries about old news and the other which is focused on “that bitchin’ TV show, ’24!’”

And if you’re not a fan of “24,” Edwards suggests the alternative distraction of George Clooney’s Oscar-contending movie “UP IN THE AIR” about a shallow middle-aged man who ruins people’s lives and metaphorically opines that we need to “lighten the load in our bags.” What a load indeed…