Blogs.4Bauer

Wyatt already mentioned that as part of 4bauer.com we’ve taken the first steps to start radio4bauer. The show will be hosted by BlogTalkRadio.

During the new season the plan is to do a recap of the previous night’s episode each Tuesday. Naturally it will be the reverent, respectful, classy presentation that you’ve come to expect from Blogs4Bauer.

But before we get to that, there’s season six to dissect (read: rip a new one). Now we’re pretty sure where our newest member stands (Crapapalooza does roll off the tongue, doesn’t it?), but I’m sure the rest of the Usual Gang of Idiots will have something to say as well. Once we’ve done our worst there we’ll still have plenty of time to engage in some meaningless speculation about season 7. We are good at that.

The question is, when should we light this firecracker? This weekend? What night, what time? We’re dealing with a lot of shit.

You can help us out with your suggestions in the comments or at Forums4Bauer.

Here at the new home of Blogs4Bauer we aim to please. So now, in addition to Jack, Kim, and Marwan, you can use the Tony (I’m not merely dead, I’m really quite sincerely dead) Alimeida theme. And don’t forget to vote in the “What theme do you use” poll.

It’s not enough that Jack has to save the world from every flavor of terrorist known to man, now he has to save man from mankind.

Here are 24 ways that Jack is carbon neutral:

1. Every day he eliminates at least one carbon emitting life form.
2. Cordite is safe for plant life.
3. The Jack Sack, among it’s other amazing properties, absorbs carbon dioxide.
4. Jack can tell the sun to tone it down and it will.
5. In season seven it will be revealed that Audrey is actually plant life.
6. He had Chloe hack into climate scientists computer systems and “adjust” the data.
7. The carbon use of Jack’s awesome firepower is offset by issuing pea-shooters and slingshots to the CTU Red Shirts.
8. When you are able to transport across LA without consuming real time you don’t consume real fuel either.
9. Jack has pledged to go one whole day without hooking anyone’s ‘nads to a power source.
10. Jack doesn’t take $h!t from anyone — carbon output = 0
11. Jack personally scattered Edgar’s ashes over part of the Mojave desert. 183 acres of new growth forest has emerged.
12. Every time Jack says, “DAMMIT” someone plants a tree. Also a fairy dies, but that’s another subject.
13. CTU vehicles are actually Prius’s with intimidating SUV shells.
14. Cougar Bait’s smokin’ hot body is offset by her arctic ice shelf brain.
15. Nadia “Awana Fuqya” Yassir’s smile would melt glaciers. Jack won’t let her smile. Ever.
16. The real reason Jack shot Curtis is that Cola refused to install low energy light bulbs in his home.
17. Jack made amends for his brief stint working for “big oil” by letting daddy’s oil rig get blown to hell.
18. Jack’s real issue with the Chinese terrorists is their “emissions”.
19. The heat between Bill Buchanan and Karen Hayes is carbon negative. Jack decreed it to be so.
20. At Jack’s insistence, President Palmer Lite, like his brother before him, absorbs sunlight.
21. Jack saved nearly 100 trees by just impregnating Patsy Ramsey Bauer instead of doing that whole “dating” thing.
22. The reason Jack didn’t talk the whole time he was in the Chinese prison was to make the world a better place for butterflies and kittens. Later he would pull the wings off the butterflies, and kittens? Jack says they taste just like chicken.
23. Jack goes 24 hours at a time without eating or taking a dump. You don’t get any more carbon neutral than that.
24. Jack’s coolness offsets the emissions by every Hummer. Everywhere.

bRight&Early stepping up to the plate. Please add lots of interesting comments. Other B4B staff, feel free to jump in!

I can live blog better if I didn’t have a 2year old to change.

Are you sure they can execute the operation. The only thing they’ve done before now is deliver takeout.

This part I can do.

2:13 Love Child returns.

Lily Rowan (aka Ann Coulter) looking for another quickie?

I’d like to bring Your S.., er, Josh, by to see you before we go.

This is not going to end well for the CTU team.

Egg Drop terrorists.

I got your takeout Mr. Bauer.

No more chinese food references. I haven’t had supper.

2:28 RPF works on auto-pilot, even with a broken heart.

Lily Rowan: I’m screwing the VP and the Breck Girl. I was willing to commit purjury. I almost caused durkdurkastan to get nuked. But now I’m scared.

One Track Pony.

GO TO SLEEP!!

(Oh, wait. That wasn’t for all of you.)

2:39 Milo strikes out with Chloe, strikes out with Aywana. Wanna go for Patsy Ramsey next?

I think we found the Chinese.

1

2,3

Strike three, Milo

2:50 Was that three more?

We want the golden child!

Aywana Fugya – Come on down! You’re the next contestant on the Kill Counter Climbs.

Let’s see those Bauer genes kick in.

No. Not those Bauer genes. Philip, what are you up to now?

3:00am

Thanks for hanging out while I provided this highly-distracted rookie liveblogging. At least the kill counter headed in the right direction. I’m betting it goes even higher next week.

Welcome back to The Blogs4Bauer Kill Counter Challenge! Each week B4B will host a contest to see who can guess Jack Bauer’s point total. The winner will be given much praise and be allowed to live another day. Image not updated>>>

bRight&Early jumping in here to post this week Challenge.

Last week was all about the Intense Whisper. Will this week be about the massive kill count? We’ll see in a few minutes.

Of course hanging out with Jack can actually mean “hanging” out with Jack. But don’t worry. Jack’s resourceful. I just wish that my knees bent. My arms are sore. Jacks friends do not “get along and play well with others.”

Scanning through my site meter stats I found this inquiry:

You can click on the image to get a larger view, but here is the relevant part:

We can help:

Cross Posted from Blogs.4Bauer.com

You’ve watched 24. You’ve Blogged and read about and commented on 24. Now you can talk about 24! I’ve started broadcasting at BlogTalkRadio.com twice each week on a show I call First Cup Radio. The show airs live on Tuesday and Thursday mornings at 6:00am.

Here’s the part about 24: Every Tuesday morning I’ll be recapping the previous night’s episode, and you can call in. The call in number is (718) 664-9725. You can click on the button to find out more about First Cup Radio.

I know. I know. It’s 6:00am. Get over it. I’m up every morning at 4:30, and Jack’s going to be up for at least another 10 hours himself. See you then.

(While I’m in pimpin’ mode, don’t forget about Forums4Bauer.)
< /pimpin >

Just a quick update on what’s going on at Forums4Bauer.

We’ve grown to 38 members since the forum was started on the night of the season premier. There are dozens of discussion going on covering everything from favorite baddies to the Bauer family reunion. You are invited to join in. Here are some recent discussions:

The Colts are going to Disney World, Valencia is orange juice, and the Jerry Springer ready Bauer family has had their first reunion. It really didn’t go well.

Hour seven is almost here. What are your thoughts? Did Graem take the “Offing 101″ course from Austin Powers?

[T]here are many names to the messenger bag, but we all know that Jack Bauer legitimized its use among heterosexual men. For that, we are forever grateful!

Now I think actually Jack’s brother is the complete and totally evil man. He has taken Jack and his dad, and pretty much has committed them to death. What is more evil than killing your own father and brother.

Join in. Jack wants you to.

There is a great discussion going on at Forums4Bauer titled, “’24′ in the real world…“. You are all invited to jump on over and contribute your thoughts.

Speaking of the Forum, there are now 20 users registered. That’s double the number since this post on Monday. Why haven’t you signed up yet?

I have mentioned Forums4Bauer a couple of times in passing and in the comments now and then. But I wanted to pop in this morning and give you a few more details.

One of the things that I enjoyed about Blogs4Bauer, even before I was invited to contribute here, were the comments. If you aren’t reading the comments along with the posts you are really missing out. The commenters here are outstanding and add a lot to the fun of site.

I thought that a forum would be a great way to keep those conversations going, and would be a great compliment to Blogs4Bauer. Instead of having to wait for one of us to start a discussion, in the forum you can:

• Start your own conversations. (This does not mean talk to yourself. That’s silly, and potentially could require professional help).
• Ask questions. (Not that anybody will have an answer, but you can ask).
• Share your thoughts, comments, and speculation.
• Have more fun than a wild night with Chloe. (From the equipment measuring going on in the first four hours that must be a pretty good time).
• Discuss the characters, the actors, the nicknames, the mystical abilities to traverse large portions of California in mere moments.
• Speculate (But please no spoilers. Like here, after an episode airs anything is fair game. You’ve been warned).

So what are you waiting for? Get over to Forums4Bauer, register, and start talking. Don’t make me call Jack.

I just wanted to pop in early this morning and let you know of a little bit of house cleaning done here at Blogs4Bauer.

Over in the left sidebar, just below the Carnival of Bauer link, there is a box listing some key Blogs4Bauer posts. Right now it has the links to The B4B Guide to Nicknames and information on the Blogs4Bauer Blogroll. I’m sure that others can be added. Suggestions?

Speaking of the Blogroll, one big change since going to the new site design is that we have changed from a group of hard-coded links to a blogrolling.com list. There are a few nice features we can take advantage of by using that service:

• The linked blogs are displayed with the most recently updated sites at the top.
• In addition to that sorting, all the blogs that have been updated in the past “24″ hours show “++Taking Place” following the link.
• And here’s the really cool part. You can add the blogroll to your site! It’s just a short bit of javascript code that you can add to a sidebar, etc.

If you would like to display the blogroll on your blog just copy and paste this code into your blog template:

<script language=”javascript” type=”text/javascript” src=”http://rpc.blogrolling.com/display.php?r=35094f2d4feaf1d6371ddcfce4182144″>
</script>

Be sure to take out the line breaks that where added to keep the end of the code from being hidden under the right sidebar.

You can now send your requests to be included in the blogroll to lakelandjim ~at~ gmail ~dot~ com. Also, drop me an email at that address if you have any questions. If you don’t know how to “fix” that email address, well you’re probably a resident of Valencia, Ca. and it doesn’t much matter anyhow.

While I’m here let me give a short pimp out to the new Forums4Bauer. I’ll have a more detailed post on that soon. In the meantime, just go take a look, register, discuss, lather, rinse, repeat.

It’s here. The day is here. It reminds me of a story:

There was a conference on human sexuality where the speaker decided to conduct an informal poll.

“How many of you have sex more than once a day, every day?”

Two or three hands were raised.

“OK. How many of you have sex at least four or five times a week?” he asked.

Most of the hands in the room went up. He continued to ask questions, lowering the amount each time; once a week, once every couple of weeks, once a month.

With a bit of a laugh, he asked, “Well is there anyone who just has sex once a year?”

In the back of the room a man jumped to his feet and began waiving his hand wildly.

“Sir,” the speaker asked, “are you saying that you only have sex once a year?”

“That’s right!” the man exclaimed with a great big grin on his face.

“Well sir, I appreciate your honesty. But, I have to ask, why only once a year? Do you like sex?”

“I sure do,” he said with great enthusiasm!

“Well, if you like sex but you only have it once a year, why are you so excited?”

“That’s easy, mister,” he replied.

“Tonight’s The Night!”

Cross posted at my my blog, bRight & Early, where you are invited to visit and discuss 24 in the Forum. If you tried to get into the Forum earlier and saw an error message, it is working now. Sorry ’bout that.

I understand that new contributors are required to include a Kim Bauer pic with their first post. So, when I should have been doing other things I created this animated logo.

I have to have something to occupy my time for the next 121 hours.