TivoBlogging: The Following Takes Place Between 2:00 PM and 3:00 PM
The Following Takes Place Between 2:00:00 PM and 3:00:00 PM
2:00:00 to 2:14:32
When we left off, the evil terrorist Colonel Lionel Jefferson was using the Oscillation Overthruster to set off a chemical plant in Ohio to release more toxic gas than Michael Moore after a run to the border. At FBI Headquarters, Agent Doosh, Sarcastic Android, and a Sleastak in hornrims… No, wait, that’s Janeane Garofalo… Discuss their effort to locate the Oscillation Overthruster The Sleastak has a lead, but Agent Doosh thinks it might be a distraction.
Sleastak: “Don’t worry, I’ll drop it as soon as it’s cold.”
Doosh: “That’s what she said.”
Doosh orders Sarcastic Android to help the Sleastak with her lead, which is some sort of code fragment. She needs to find its source.
Sleastak: “I need to you to free up a socket for me.”
Sarcastic Android: “That’s what she said.”
Meanwhile, Jack, Chiggy Killer, Potato Face, Zombie Tony, and Zombie Streetwalker have tracked Prime Minister Morgan Freeman to MSNBC Headquarters, where he and his wife are being held hostage by the dastardly Colonel Lionel Jefferson. Zombie Streetwalker uses her FBI badge to get past door security while the others sneak in through a side door, except for Potato Face who is back in the car logging into “Interiorbuildingschematics.com.”
Anyway, the Sleastak tries to warn plant manager Spock Janeway that terrorists are using the Oscillation Overthruster to breach his firewall. Sleastak tries to tell him what the Oscillation Overthruster does, but Janeway cuts him off.
Janeway: “I know what that does, honey.”
Sleastak: “That’s what she said.”
2:18:53 to 2:28:13
The warp flatulence is set to blow in twelve minutes. Spock Janeway thinks he can stall the explosion by venting the warp flatulence into the pattern buffers, but only by entering the reaction chamber himself. Sleastak advises against it, but Spock Janeway says, “Dammit, I’m responsible for the lives of 148 crewmen aboard this vessel and the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few and such.”
Back at MSNBC headquarters, Jack and his crew are preparing to bust into the place, free Morgan Freeman, capture Colonel Lionel Jefferson. Jack suggests a strategy.
Jack: “I think our best approach is a simultaneous double penetration.”
Chiggy: “I’m not touching that.”
Much shooting ensues. Colonel Lionel Jefferson destroys the Oscillation Overthruster before it can be used.
2:32:34 to 2:38:15
In order to cover his escape, Colonel Lionel Jefferson wires up Dr. Phlox like a Palestinian schoolboy.
Jack: “Stand back! He’s about to blow!”
Chiggy: “That’s what…”
KA-BOOM!!!!
Meanwhile, everybody from Agent Doosh to President Cankles has noticed that the attack is over and is wondering why. Spock Janeway is dead, of course.
2:42:42 to 2:48:06
Checking in on the C Story, Kevin Bacon is still dead. The first dude is still bald.
2:52:33 to 2:59:59
Prime Minister Morgan Freeman calls President Cankles to let her know that he is free, the Oscillation Overthruster is destroyed. She conveys the news to Alfred, who replies. “Oh, sh-t… I mean, hey, that’s great news.”
Jack agrees to give Morgan Freeman and the missus a ride to the White House. Zombie Tony doesn’t want to go.
Zombie Tony: “I just can’t come right now.”
Jack: “That’s … disappointing.”
Meanwhile, Colonel Lionel Jefferson arrives at his De-luxe apartment in the sky, calls to have his thug deliver the bald dude to him, and gets a little brown sugar from some diner skank.
Tick-Tock
Loading ...
Thank God this is finally posted. I was beginning to feel I had been cheated out of the hefty membership fee I paid here.
About that…your check bounced.