The medical Jack Bauer
The British Medical Journal has come out with its annual list of new doctors’ slang (that’s new slang for doctors, not slang used by new doctors), and our friend, Jack Bauer, is on it.
Yes, a “Jack Bauer” is:
A doctor still up and working after 24 hours on the job—now something of a rarity but will be recognised by older clinicians. Usually a bit tetchy [Amy note: this means peevish, testy or irritable]:
Colleague: Going for lunch, Jack?
JB: (shouts) “THERE ISN’T TIME!”
So, in the spirit of the holidays, let’s gift British doctors with other 24-inspired medical terminology. I’ll start us off:
• Chase Edmunds: An emergency amputation.
• Kim Bauer: The hot but stupid medical intern who obviously got her job only because of who her father is.
• Audrey Raines: A lobotomy.
• SecDef Heller: Any administrator who’s really top-notch and deserving of respect by all staff, medical or otherwise.
• Chloe: The obnoxious computer jockey who will backdate medical reports in the system for you. Or remotely disconnect life-support equipment for patients who can’t pay their bills.
More?
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The Nina Meyers. The blood sucking nurse bitch who smiles to put you at ease annd causes you more pain than you thought possible.
The Tony Almeida – the patient who, hours, months or years after his or her death, suddenly comes back to life.
The Vladimir Bierko – The patient with deadly gas.