So where are we at? Oh, right. Stop me if you have heard this before…Jack Bauer is chasing an enemy with plans on wrecking LA, there are moles, explosions, and some yelling. In the end Jack Bauer will get all the glory, while everyone around him is an emotional wreck. Well I have had enough of Jack’s adoration hogging. Without me, where would Jack be? You know, even a fan page like Bauer’s Treo 650 cell phone has would be nice. It’s time to give credit where credit is due.
With all due respect to “Frank Flynn”, I did not sign on to be a personal unisex messenger bag for a blood-thirsty CTU agent, hell-bent on taking down a sitting president. No, I thought I might be used to carry Frank’s tools to and from the oil rigs. Sure, not many of the other rig operators carried unisex bags, apparently not many of the other operators were former Delta Force goons who chose to go into hiding after faking their own death.
That is how I became Jack Bauer’s personal unisex messenger bag. Without me, Jack Bauer’s day would have been over before Palmer hit the floor. Ever since, Jack and I have been like Optimus Prime and his trailer. But, unlike Optimus Prime’s trailer (who disappeared when the shooting started) – I have been there for Jack from start to finish. Unfortunately, Jack Bauer and Optimus Prime have a nasty habit of taking all the credit. Well no longer will Jack’s aviators, his cell phone, and yes – his manpurse be passed over. We demand that Jack Bauer and the world acknowledge our contributions.
I’ve held Jack Bauer’s gun, recording device, knives, Behrooz’s pinkie, eavesdropping gear, black tar heroin, a pair of Chole’s panties, and leatherman tool for the last time if things do not change. The next time Jack reaches into my main zippered compartment – he may find a big lump of disappointment.
Maybe Bauer’s aviators and I will even find a more grateful owner on Amazon.com.
Counterpoint: That man-purse makes you look like a sissy.
by Mr. Blackwell
Previous Point-Counterpoint Posts
Point – Jack Bauer’s Threats Will Not Stop Iran’s Nuclear Plans. by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
Counterpoint – Keep It Up And We’ll Give You Nuclear Weapons ASAP – Courtesy Of The B-2 Bomber. by Donald Rumsfeld