Point: Dude, I Wouldn’t Hit That, Again.
by Spenser Wolff
Yes, I “knocked boots” with the famous Chloe O’Brian, woop-de-doo. You must hate me because I was with Chloe O’Brian and the inner nerd inside you secretly hopes her career goes downhill so she’s forced into nerd-porn. Well guys, I’ll be the first to say that I would’t hit that, again.
I knew Chloe was messed up when she kept asking me to do her “binary style“. I tried to dismiss her cries for “Edgar” and even ignored it when she went cross-eyed midway through our dirty deed. Looking back, I should’ve asked for more money when Christopher Henderson got me into CTU as a mole to shack up with O’Brian. I was banging the hostess at Applebees before Henderson suckered me into this mission.
Some people at CTU think Chloe has Asperger syndrome, well I think she’s just retarded. Do you know how long I had to hit on her to finally get a date? Then, the only way I got her to go out with me was to take her to see The Star Wars Kid when he spoke at a local Dairy Queen. Don’t even ask me about Trek Week.
At the CTU Halloween Party, she had us go as Han Solo and Leia. Chloe was Han. Curtis, dressed as Lando Calrissian, openly mocked my cinnamon buns. Edgar went as Pilot Red Six. Dating Chloe O’Brian set my street rep back at least 15 years.
When I get out of jail, Chloe and I will never, ever have a future together. In fact, I wouldn’t hit it with Behrooz’s junk.
Counterpoint: A Guy Who Is Hung Like A Chinese Church-mouse Shouldn’t Run His Pie-hole So Much
by Chloe O’Brian
Previous Point-Counterpoint Posts
Point – Don’t Hold Your Breath; Heller’s Dead. by Ted Kennedy
Counterpoint – Anything Is Possible. by Mary Jo Kopechne
Point – I’m Going to Kill Jack Bauer! by Christopher Henderson
Counterpoint – Henderson, You’re As Good As Dead! by The Grim Reaper
Point- Jack Bauer Cannot Help Recover Your Money, Mr. Rakotozafy (I can) – by Nina Myers
Counterpoint- Everything Nina Myers says is bullsh*t. – by Jack Bauer
Point- Audrey Raines: Kick The Jack Habit Today! – by Dr. Phil (on loan from Match.com)Counterpoint – Audrey, stand by your man! – by Mary Jo Buttafuoco
Point – Thin Mints are an addictive narcotic – by Jack Bauer
Counterpoint – Thin Mints Are Only The Beginning – by Vladimir Bierko
Point – I’m going to make it! by Random Guard
Counterpoint – Nah, you’re not. – by Death
Point – CTU needs better training for their security guards before something bad happens
Counterpoint – My teenage daughter could have stopped every incursion into CTU!
Point- 24:The Game Will Lead to More Violence
Counterpoint – Violence Makes The World Go ‘Round
Point – Jack Bauer could not have shot down one of our AS 350 Ecureuil Helicopters with a handgun
Counterpoint – A redneck with a squirt gun could shoot down your euro-trash.
Point – It’s Time To Turn Jack Bauer Over To The Chinese
Counterpoint – Confucius Say, “Man With Wandering Groin Accomplishes Little”
Point – Impeach Weasel, Dennis Kucinich For President
Counterpoint – Fox should fight off impeachment like Shelley Winters fought off diet cola
Point – They are already illegally wiretapping Jack Bauer’s cell phone, whose next?
Counterpoint – The U.S. government does not violate our civil rights enough!