Chuck You, Jack

This is what Jack will be up against (heh. I said up against) in Live Another Day.

YvonneStrahovskiGun

One more notable name joining Fox’s reboot of 24: Yvonne Strahovski (Chuck, Dexter) has joined the event series as Kate Morgan, a “brilliant but impulsive CIA field operative in London.”

Strahovski comes aboard 24: Live Another Day, Fox’s 12-episode revival of its veteran action drama. In addition to Kiefer Sutherland reprising his starring role as Jack “Dammit!” Bauer, former cast members such as Kim Raver as Jack’s former lover interest Audrey, William Devane as her father, and Mary Lynn Rajskub as systems analyst Chloe are back on board too. New to this round: Michael Wincott as an infamous hacker and Judy Davis as the widow of a terrorist. (Source)

When she’s not chasing Jack around London in a leather coat she looks like this:

Yvonne-Strahovski-1

Happy Talk Like Jack Bauer Day

talk-like-jack-bauer-day

 

Editor’s Note: Most of this post is a rehashing of previous TLJBD posts. Why reinvent the wheel?

What a glorious day this is. The first Talk Like Jack Bauer Day since 2010, the final season of 24. It’s back this May with 12 episodes spanning 24 hours, and though we’ve traditionally held TLJBD on the Monday before the season premiere, but we can’t wait for May.

Important to remember: For the whole 24 hours of Talk Like Jack Bauer Day, you cannot go to the bathroom or charge a cell phone. Also, it should only take you a maximum of 3 minutes to get anywhere you are going.

So. The basics:

Q: I don’t know how to “talk” like Jack Bauer.
You’re already well on your way, since that was not a question and Jack does not have time for questions. Additionally, if you find yourself not knowing how to talk like Jack Bauer, it’s acceptable to just act like Jack Bauer. That usually means lots of excessive force.

 

Q: What if someone gets upset with my Jack Bauer impersonation?
A: Act more upset or use excessive force.

 

Q: I told my boss’ child that his father is dead in my best evil voice. What now?
A: Make sure you call his wife.

 

Q: What do I do if I get fired?
A: Remember, Jack Bauer has been fired many times, but he’s never stopped working. If necessary, assume a secret identity for the rest of the day (using alliteration is advised) until they need you again.

Some tips:

How to act on Talk Like Jack Bauer Day
-Make sure to yell very simple requests.
-Issue threats that involve family members and/or body parts.
-Always mention that you’re running out of time.
-Carry a manpurse. Wear aviators. Don’t do drugs.
-Start each conversation with “I’m federal agent (your name), and today is the longest day of my life”.
-Carry around zip ties and a pair of pliers (because you never know).
-Ask a coworker for either a hacksaw or lighter fluid.
-Keep a car battery and some jumper cables on your desk.
-Use your cell phone as much as possible. If the battery dies, just pretend it’s still working.
-End phone calls by stating “remember, I’m in a Flank 2 position.” Works well when you are on a conference call.
-Use at least 5 exclamation points in every email!!!!
-Ask “Who are you working for!?” to as many people as possible.
-Throw out a “Dammit” during the day, just for the hell of it.
-Drink each time you hear a co-worker say “Dammit”.
-Make a mistake at work? Blame Nina Myers.
-Request everything be sent to your PDA (works best if you don’t have one).
-Accuse co-workers and/or children of being moles.
-Make sure to let your co-workers catch you looking at Google Earth maps of their houses. When they ask why, tell them that you’ve tracked a terrorist cell to that location.

Here are some examples of TLJBD throughout history:

washington

Talk Like Jack Bauer Day – 1776

While we all know that Gen. Washington crossed the Deleware and surprised the Hessians at Trenton, little has been told about the conversations in the boat crossing that frozen river.  Historians have also failed to explain why Washington carried a set of towels, a ball-peen hammer and a set of nipple clips.

grant

Talk Like Jack Bauer Day – 1865

Lee was hesitant to end “the war” until Grant channeled his inner Jack Bauer — the rest is history. Lee took a demotion to Colonel and went on to open a chain of fried chicken restaurants.  Grant appeared in a Just For Men commercial before modeling for the front of the $50 bill.

watson

Talk Like Jack Bauer Day – 1876

Without Alexander Graham Bell we would not have a telephone.  Without telephones we wouldn’t have cell phones.  Without cell phones Jack Bauer is at an extreme disadvantage. Not powerless, because, well, guns.

Please enjoy TLJBD and let us know how you’re celebrating!

TLJBD is almost upon us

talk-like-jack-bauer-day

Tomorrow is the first Talk Like Jack Bauer Day in a couple years, in honor of the return of our beloved show.

Full explanation to come tomorrow, but we have plenty of previous posts to Talk Like Jack Bauer Day.

It has historically alternated between Jan. 14 and Jan. 15, but we chose Jan. 15 this year because the show comes back on May 5. Symmetry.

Casting Alert

Entertainment Weekly has announced that Michael Wincott has been cast in the role of “Adrian”.

[H]e’s described as a charismatic hacker and a leader of the free information movement.

[...]

Live Another Day
will film in London for a U.K.-set adventure, with original series stars Kiefer Sutherland, Mary Lynn Rajskub, Kim Raver and William Devane are all on board, with Howard Gordon back to executive produce and Jon Cassar returning to executive produce and direct episodes.

Blogs4Bauer will continue to bring you news as we find it.

Chloe’s Coming Back

Chloe Gun

It’s official! Potato Face, aka Chloe, aka Mary Lynn Rajskub, will be back on the 24 miniseries, “24: Electric Boogaloo” (no, really, it’s actually very James Bond-sounding – “24: Live Another Day”).

No word as to whether she will reveal where she hid Janene Garafolo’s body.

In a statement, Rajskub said, “I am thrilled to be working with Howard and the writers again — and, of course, Kiefer! There’s a lot more room to grow in my character… I’m going to start sharpening my computer skills now!”

Also: I spelled Rajskub from memory. Yes, I’m that good.

There’s No Time For Weddings!

Elisha Cuthbert and Dion Phaneuf

Jim from bRight and Early is wearing black today: Elisha Cuthbert just got married.

While many in Hollywood have shunned white or a gown at all, Elisha Cuthbert bucked the trend and shone in a very traditional wedding dress as she married her long time love.

Channeling old Hollywood glamor in a stunning long sleeved full length gown Elisha beamed as tied the knot with hockey defenseman Dion Phaneuf in front of her family and friends in her native Canada.

After five years of dating the 30-year-old Happy Endings star and her 28-year-old Toronto Maple Leafs beau walked down the aisle of the white weatherboard St. James Church in Summerfield, Prince Edward Island.

I remember the day I found out Christina Hendricks got hitched. At least Jim can take comfort in the fact his internet girlfriend married a hockey player. Mine married the stoner dude from Super Troopers.

IT’S OFFICIAL. 24 is back, but only for 12. For now.

CurtisThe details: 12 hours, over next summer, starting in May 2014.

The title: 24: Live Another Day (or half-day, as the case may be)

Kiefer will be on board.

Scary: A miniseries from M. Night Shyamalan called “Wayward Pines” will air afterward. Will all the people Jack kills be haunting the Pines?

Will they let Jack go to the bathroom? Will Chloe return? Will we find out that Kim was in WitSec and Mary Shannon was responsible for her being in Chicago and not remembering anything?

Will we get Zombie Nina? Zombie Edgar? Zombie Rickster? Zombie Red Hot?

Whatever. Your Blogs4Bauer team will be there and will be liveblogging the HECK out of these 12 hours. One thing they said to Entertainment Weekly is quite true:

The spine of the 24 episodes is about 12 hours. Those were big events that occurred and little connective tissue in between.

So that should mean lots of shooting and yelling, little exposition and boring episodes while they talk about “procedure” and crap.

What say you all? SO SAY WE ALL!

Jack May Be Back – For A Few Hours, If Not 24

Jack Bauer Kicks Ass

 

The news broke today: Howard Gordon is in talks to bring 24 back as a “limited series.”

Kiefer is “in talks” to reprise his role as Jack Bauer. Of course, we all know that if Jack’s not back, there is no 24. I mean, REALLY.

It’s a little disturbing, though, as the article says the story “would start from scratch with a new story arc.”

So long as Kiefer’s on board, though? We’ll be watching. Chloe’d better be back, too. Russet Potato Face and all.

Kiefer must have shot someone in the knee to get this movie made

It’s on like Donkey Kong.

If Donkey Kong had a Glock and was shooting Mario & Luigi in the knees.

Yes, boys and girls, conservatives and liberals: 24 the movie is back on.

I read about it first on IGN, which lead me to the Deadline.com article that broke the news.

Producer: Brian Grazer (dude, what is WITH the hair?). About five directors are in the running.

Writer: Mark Bomback, yes, he of Live Free or Die Hard, Race to Witch Mountain and the new version of Total Recall. Welp. he knows how to blow stuff up, right?

The goal is to get the movie into production when Kiefer’s free again in April. No, he’s not in jail, just working on other stuff.

So, are we gonna live-blog this movie from the theater, guys?

And so it ends… like the death of that vice president in Season 4 and not like Bill Buchanan

The “24″ movie, alas, is not to be.

Fox didn’t like the script penned by Billy “State of Play” Ray and nixed it.

“As far as I know, it is in suspended animation,”  Howard Gordon, the longtime executive producer of 24 who is also expected to produce the big screen version, told EW exclusively. ”There is talk about re-approaching it. I understand (director/producer) Tony Scott is meeting with Kiefer to talk about ideas. People are still talking about it.”

And even though we haven’t been blogging here, we’ve still been talking about it.

DAMMIT, FOX, WE’RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME.

Jack Bauer’s a grandfather now. Kim Bauer’s no longer hot. Nina’s still dead. Red Hot: Still dead. Tony: Evil. President Cankles: Still Cankled.

And we are still bereft.

It is January, and there is no 24 in sight, for the first time in years. (Writer’s strike year doesn’t count.)

24 Cap This!

Logan’s Run Caption Contest
(Source: 24 Wikia)

Caption this photo in the comments section or we’ll ask Charles Logan to offer you a drink – by smashing a decanter into your skull. The winners will be announced on Monday, May 31st. Good luck!

Other Current Contests:
Military Times
Rodney Dill
RT
Support Your Local Gunfighter
V The K
Wizbang

Top Three Entries:
3. If you want to get back with Martha, touch or say “1,” If you want Jack to blow your brains out, touch or say “2.” – Dick Lepre
2. “First we use the laser to get rid of the bags under your eyes. When we have a week or so we’ll go to work on that turkey neck of yours.” – Jim

WINNER! – As you can expect, even the telemarketers in the world of 24 often go to extremes to keep people on the line. – Anthony

JBKC (Season 8) 2pm-4pm Results

Well. while the finale may have been a tad Wyattastic, the Kill Counter got a workout – thanks to a Jack Bauer headbutt toward the end of the finale. The extra 20 points for that move enabled a healthy 28 for the counter, a respectable end to the series finale.

This week’s winner is Loren Silverman, who was the closest without going over (Price Is Right rules) with “So for fun’s sake, I’ll go along with RogerDee’s method as well.. 25…”

Congratulations Loren! Your authentic Peace Treaty Pen is enroute to your location! Write in good health!

(And if I may add a personal note, thank you to everyone who read, linked, and participated here at B4B. We could not have done any of this without you. Monday nights will never be the same.)